freak out mode

by | Oct 30, 2011 | mama confessions

OK, so I’m freaking out a little (ok…a lot).  My Aunt and Uncle are coming in town this Friday, and the house is…well, less than clean.  It wouldn’t bother me so much, but my Aunt is a super clean neat freak.  Why do these things get my panties all up in a wad?  I know I need to just breathe and not freak out about the house, the laundry, what I will make for dinner when they’re here…but I do.  A lot!

I think the biggest issue I’m having with this phase of my life is the little (very little) time I get to do anything — even the non-fun stuff.  I know the phase will pass and before I know it, I’ll be looking back and wishing I had young children again who need me every second of my day, but right now, I just want some ME time.  And I don’t get it.  Ever.  OK…my husband always says I take things to extremes.  I do get ME time sometimes — like during the 2 hours of sleep every night when someone isn’t waking me up needing to be fed or having their diapers changed or yelling out, “GO AWAY SCARY GHOSTS!” from the other room in their sleep.  Yep, I guess you could call sleep ME time too.  Or right now, for instance, when I’m taking a much needed break from running frantically around the house while everyone is taking a nap and cleaning the bathrooms, so that, at least, I can have that checked off my to-do list for the week.  Or after I get done writing, providing someone hasn’t woken up yet, when I frantically toss a load of laundry in the wash and frantically run around the house picking up toys so I can frantically vacuum and mop the floors upon their waking.  It’s so silly, isn’t it?  I’m admittedly silly. 

So, my first reaction is to completely hole up this week and not see another soul, except for my children, and bust my ars til I get the house sparkling and everything neatly put away.  But, I know that’s not realistic.  I need some space to breathe and I need to realize that the house will not look perfect when they come and I can be OK with that.  And, more importantly, I can’t let this week go by without spending quality time with my boys and seeing some friends.  There.  I said it.  It’s out there.  Life will go on and I will live. 

OK…so onto less heavy stuff, because I feel like my blogging has had a rather heavy, complaining tone lately.  That is not how I want to come off — either in writing or in person.  I want to be upbeat and always looking on the bright side.  har har har

OK…baby #2 is awake.  Gotta bolt!

But, before he reallllly wakes up and wants me, here’s my gratitude list:

I am grateful for:

  1. This beautiful sunny, cool, breezy day.
  2. Being content being at home.
  3. Sleeping kids — well, half of them.
  4. Husbands who do a lot and give a lot and make our lives easier.  I love mine (even if I’m kinda irritated with him at the moment).
  5. My beautiful sons who make my day worth living.
  6. My wonderful friends both near and far.
  7. The way the house looks right now. (because if I’m grateful for it, maybe it’ll clean itself)…wishful thinking
  8. My amazing double stroller.  Have I mentioned that before?  I will have to write about it in my next blogging session. LOVE IT MORE THAN CHOCOLATE!  OK, that’s a lie.  But I do like it a lot!
  9. My bed.  Wish I could come down from ADD long enough to lie in it.
  10. Sundays with nowhere to go.  I need days like this more often. 

 

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