back in the saddle
Boy, getting back to writing after a long hiatus is rough! I hadn’t planned to check out for this long, Friends. (I’m sorry!!!) It just happened when I found myself alone in a one-bedroom apartment in Vienna, Austria with my 3 kids for 3 1/2 weeks, and it didn’t get better once my husband arrived and we spent the remaining two weeks full speed ahead seeing friends and family and doing all the things we wanted to do before we left.
When we first arrived in Vienna, I had created a routine that worked well for me. I would sneak my laptop open and write before the kids woke up from their jetlagged stupor. But as the temperatures got warmer, and the kids began to acclimate to the time zone, it became more and more challenging to fit ANYTHING ELSE but eating, showering and corralling the kids into our full days of sightseeing and visiting friends. Also, as my kids became more familiar with our environment, my only goal became survival and noise control! #thestrugglewasreal #peaceforthewin
However, all that aside…I’m back! And I’m so excited to be able to write again in my own space back home. Kinda. However, that said, I should inform you that at this very moment, that includes sharing a living room with my 10-year old son who decided to wake up and immediately turn on The Amazing World of Gumball full blast. Why do cartoons have to be so loud?!?!?!?!?! Or why do my children feel the need to watch t.v. as if they are 89-year-old men who refuse to wear their hearing aids?!
But I digress…
I’m happy to say that our trip to Austria was glorious and wonderful and everything I imagined it would be. Sure, there were a few kinks in the road like my in-laws not being as warm or welcoming as we would have expected and needing my 3…THREEEEEE children to be as quiet, still and peaceful as possible every time we visited! #forthelove There was also unrelenting heat which made living with no air conditioning a real challenge for my little Texans. My kids also wore out much sooner during our outings than I thought they would have–especially considering ALLLLLL the energy they constantly seem to have otherwise. Regardless of any issues that will inevitably pop up during a 6-week excursion with children (and in-laws), it was a long overdue trip for sure, and we are already talking about how we can get back there again soon and change our lifestyle here in Texas to reflect our priorities and values of trying to do things like this more often.
The simple fact of the matter is we’ve accumulated too much stuff. We’ve settled in to our home here a little too much. We’ve adapted to the Texas way of life too much. But none of it really, if I’m being honest, reflects what we want, who we are, and what we’re about.
What our family is about boils down to a few things…two of which are:
- We are foreigners here. And while we love certain aspects of Texas and want to adapt to our surroundings as much as possible, it isn’t natural that we put down our roots here. Our human nature begs to put our roots down somewhere and settle in, for sure, but in doing so, we tend to lose the pull that beckons us back home and connects us to the people we have left behind. It divides us from our home. And that, for us, is a problem.
- We love to travel. But even more than that, we love to see and go and do. We’ve learned that about ourselves and our kids a million times over, but our lifestyle (and my homebody, neat freak nature) prohibits us from doing that as often as we should. As much as we think we love being home, keeping a tidy house (me!!), decorating our home (me!!!), planting a garden (me!!!) and maintaining what we have, what really gives us (me!!) the most joy is being around others and seeing and experiencing new things!
Isn’t it funny how that works? You can think that your priorities are totally aligned with the life you want for yourself and your family, but when you take a long, hard look at your life, while away from it for a few weeks, you realize that it misses the mark in reflecting your priorities and dreams for your family.
So, where do we go from here? How do we navigate this need for a different, simpler, low maintenance, carefree lifestyle that we so crave? How do we purposely not fall into the trap of Texas suburban living where accumulation of things and a “crazy busy”, always-hurried schedule reign supreme?
Do we have to accept the status quo and adopt the values and priorities of those around us?! Is it just an “adulting” part of life that we need to give up the very things that make us who we are and fill our hearts with joy so we can adapt and fit in and live out happy existences within our surroundings?
I don’t know how to figure all this out in one blog post, Folks, but I’m here to give it my solid 100 over the course of the next few weeks and months.
Right now, I’m definitely seeing with my very eyes, as I look all around my house, the need to be settled, organized and all comfy in our own space sharply contrasting in the most overwhelming way with the need to be free from it all, fully mobile and wild at heart.
I know this much is true (cue Spandau Ballet, sorry!): I recognized from the start that I was not cut out for the constant rat race of switching out decor every few weeks for a new holiday or season, over-scheduling ourselves in extracurricular commitments or opting to be home organizing and maintaining my space over cultivating deeper relationships and experiencing the world to its fullest. My husband and I, and now our kids, just GOTTA SEE THE WORLD!
And this, my friends, is the crux of my very existence. If I’m being honest, which I am, this is where my head space is about 95% of the time. It’s not a fun space to be in, per se, but at least our wonderful trip back to our roots in Austria showed me why I feel this way, and hopefully the months ahead will show me and my family what to do about it.
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