Part 3 – The Challenges of Singing
This week and next, I’m wrapping up my 4-part series called Getting Back to Singing. Why have I taken the time to spend 4 blog posts on this topic? Because I talk to so many people who tell me they used to sing, but for whatever reason, they feel they can no longer make it work in their lives. There just isn’t enough time. There isn’t enough opportunity. They feel they’ve strayed too far and would need significant training in order to get their voices back in shape. Whatever the reason is, they aren’t singing anymore…but deep down, they want to be.
So far, in Part 1, we discovered our why for singing and in Part 2, we unwrapped the pain of not singing. Throughout this post, however, I want to talk about some of the challenges we face when we attempt to start singing and offer you some solutions for making singing a priority again in your life while overcoming the not-so-unique hurdles we all face.
Here are some challenges I often hear and personally experience and some possible solutions to those challenges:
Challenge #1: Time
The first challenge I hear many people talk about is time. As we get older and have more responsibilities like demanding jobs, mortgages to pay and children to feed and care for, we soon realize that everything else, whether consciously or unconsciously, gets put on the back burner. We may forego a lot of things we used to love like sports, painting, learning a new skill, reading, travel, and of course, singing becomes one of those many things that just falls to the bottom of our priority list.
Solution:
While I can attest to the extreme difficulty of finding time in our busy schedules to practice and invite music back into our lives, I can tell you that it is not as impossible as it may seem. Like any endeavor we set out to do, we know that if we fail to plan we plan to fail. Simply put, planning to sing and actually writing or typing it into our schedule is one of the biggest hurdles we can overcome. Maybe you can’t sing for hours on end like you used to, but that doesn’t mean you can’t sing at all. Schedule in a few minutes every day to tend to your voice. It may be 10 minutes here or 15 minutes there, but the point is: you’re singing! Try not to be down on yourself when you miss a day. Just sing when you can. But sing!
Challenge #2: Resources
While we may have once spent quite a bit of our earnings on vocal training, CDs (I know this dates me) and new sheet music, we may find that we just don’t have the leftover funds in our budget to do any of these things anymore. Depending on where you live, the cost of voice lessons can average anywhere from $50 – $150 per hour, and since you really need to be consistent in pursuing lessons if you want to see any difference, that can add up to a big chunk of change per month if you go all in. If you are anything like me, I am trying to cut back rather than find places to spend our family’s income, so the idea of taking voice lessons might be a stretch — especially if you’re on a budget.
Solution:
Paying for a voice teacher or buying sheet music no longer has to be a huge expense like it once was. With free online tutorials (like I provide here and on my YouTube channel) and downloadable audio warm-ups you can get by signing up for my newsletter, you can be well on your way to singing freely and effortlessly in weeks without spending a dime! With Spotify, you can listen to your favorite songs you want to learn and even get a karaoke/instrumental version to sing along with for a free subscription or a monthly paid subscription under $15/monthly. Sheet music can be found through your local library, online at a low cost or even free if the music isn’t copyrighted or you have a friend or a church you could borrow from. Money should never be a deterrent to singing — especially when we are able to get so much information so easily — for free!
Challenge #3: Confidence
It can be extremely difficult to get back on the wagon and put yourself out there if you haven’t sung in a while, but one of the biggest reasons I hear about has to do with confidence. Many people feel like they’ve strayed too far for too long and just don’t have what it takes anymore. It’s also possible that a previous performance opportunity didn’t quite go as planned and that’s made you leery of jumping back in. Confidence, or the lack thereof, can be a major player when it comes to not singing. But it shouldn’t be.
Solution:
While I can’t wave a magic wand and make you confident again, I can tell you that the act of practicing and working on your voice on a regular basis like I suggest can be all the ingredients you are needing to regain confidence in singing. A wonderful singing friend of mine has always encouraged me by telling me nonchalantly, “It’s just like riding a bike.” And truthfully, it is. Your voice is your voice. Not much has changed with it since you last sang. Dusting it off and getting it to do what you want it to do is just a matter of starting and working on it for a little bit every day. It’s not rocket science!
If you are truly one of those people who struggles with confidence in general, I can relate to your angst. However, I have found that the more you do something — anything, really — you will gain more confidence in doing it. Sing at your local library during story hour. Sing at the children’s hospital or for a nursing home. Sing with your neighbors and go caroling at Christmastime. You don’t have to land a lead spot with the band or a solo just yet. Ease in and schedule some volunteer singing time where there’s no pressure or anxiety on the line. The more you can ease into it and let go of your fear of performing, the easier it will be!
Challenge #4: Space
While you once may have had a sacred space of your own where you could go and chisel out your technique or learn a song, you may find that you no longer have a place to practice in solitude. If your family has grown (like mine), it’s easy for a practice space to turn into a child’s room or a home office or a catch-all space for everything you need to store. For years, my studio became a storage space for holiday decor and wrapping supplies. The thought of going in there to sing made no sense with all the clutter I would have had to face in that room. Finding a space to sing can sometimes be one of the biggest challenges we face, but it is an important and often-forgotten key to successfully getting back to singing again!
Solution:
While there is no one-way solution to creating your space to sing, you can simply begin by creating a make-shift, temporary space to sing while you deconstruct another space that’s more permanent. The reason I say “temporary” is because I have a feeling, if you’re like me, you will fret over the space not being exactly what you want it to be, and because of this, you will never sing. We’re funny creatures, aren’t we? So, when we make a temporary space, we are saying to ourselves, “This is OK for now…but eventually, I want it to be a different space that makes me feel joyful and allows me to focus on my singing (instead of the clutter or noise around me).” In this space, we aren’t perfectionists. We aren’t looking for something to fix or repair or clean. We are simply going there to sing. As we begin to spend more and more time there, we will make it more personalized for us. I can’t tell you how much I love this idea of creating our space to sing! It gets my juices flowing!
OK, so there ya have it! I’ve listed some of the top challenges people face when getting back to singing and some solutions to those challenges. I will readily admit that I haven’t listed all the possible challenges that include what you may be personally going through, or this post would be a mile long. I’m well aware that your own personal challenges may be greater than the ones I’ve listed. Some of you are going through huge life changes or you’re working 3 jobs to make ends meet or you’ve got a physical limitation that is affecting your ability to do what you used to do. Obviously, I’m not referring to you if your challenges are greater than the ones I’ve listed. But I will say that every season has its own set of unique hurdles to overcome and pretty much everything is figureoutable. So if you’re not in a place where you can start singing right now, have faith, my friend. You will be in that place again soon.
Today, I’ve included a free printable for you to download, print out and fill out. On this sheet, I want you to list your own personal challenges to singing and then attempt to list the solutions. You’ve probably already thought of a few solutions while reading this post. So let’s get clear, shall we?
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Comments? Questions? Let me know!
Happy Singing!
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