We all do it. Without even thinking, we compare our lives to the lives of others around us, the life we used to have, the life we wish we had, the life of a stranger on Instagram or another friend’s family vacation album on Facebook.
No matter who we are, what we’re doing, how beautiful or how flawed our lives are, we have a tendency to wish for something different — completely different than the life we have. We wish for some thing that would make all the other things easier. Something that would suit our personalities more. Something that would make our hearts happier.
We long for a place to live with nicer weather, better scenery, more bike trails, better cafes, interesting people and a thriving culture and economy.
We may even long to look a more beautiful, be more fit, dress more stylishly or have our homes decorated in a way that makes us feel better in our surroundings.
Maybe we long for more meaningful relationships, closer community or a sense of belonging.
But if there’s anything I’ve discovered from traveling, it’s that there are positives and negatives to every place you live in, every family dynamic, every body type, every city, every group of friends and every career path.
There is no perfect situation. There are no perfect people. And there certainly is no perfect place to live.
But it’s easy to be dissatisfied with what we have when we look around us and see the lives of others. I have both felt envy for another’s life and been envied for the life I have. I have felt inadequacy and lack, and I have unknowingly made others feel like their lives lacked and were inadequate in comparison to mine.
As I sit in on my computer in my little one bedroom apartment in the heart of Vienna, Austria with my kids in the next room, I’m reminded of the hilight reel we all choose to show the world.
Right now, after a long day of running around and meeting people and doing things yesterday and the day before and the day before that, my kids and I are taking it easy and having a lazy, Saturday morning with nothing planned. No obligations. No commitments. No priorities except rest. Silence. Stillness.
After we got up this morning around 8:30am, I left them for a few minutes and ran downstairs to the local grocery store to buy some food for the weekend (most grocery stores are closed on Sundays).
When I got to the store, in a hurry so as not to leave my kids too long, I immediately walked in and felt that the people around me were rude and unfriendly — not at all like the warm and smiling folks at my local neighborhood HEB close to my home in Austin. What happened? Nothing traumatic. Nothing memorable. Just an overall feeling of discomfort and awkwardness as I navigated my way through the store trying to quickly pick up things we needed and get back home.
People cutting in front of me, getting irritated at me when they had to walk around me. My cart was in the way of an employee who was trying to put things away. I walked up to a perfectly open line to have someone tell me the line was closed. I went through a self check-out line only to have the cashier on duty have to come over and scan his card to help me at least 8 times in one transaction. In that instant, I was the foreigner. And I was apparently doing everything wrong.
When I was on my way back to the apartment with all my groceries (that I had to carry for a block), I remembered the days of living here in my twenties and wishing, during those harsh, cold Austrian moments, that I was back in the comfort of my hometown in Kansas City, Missouri where people actually smiled at me when I smiled at them and where I knew what ingredients I needed and how to weigh my fruit and vegetables. I longed for those brief seconds where I knew I could ask someone if I couldn’t find something, and I was offered help with a smile instead of irritation and disdain.
Those moments, like I had this morning, were the moments that literally defeated me as a single, young person in the middle of a foreign city. And those moments were attempting to defeat me again in my forties on my way back to my apartment full of hungry, screen-happy children.
When I got back a few minutes later, my kids were still in their pajamas watching shows on their tablets. I fixed them breakfast. They were grumpy. We ate. They made a mess. I cleaned up they messes they had made. I refereed fights they had between each other and refolded their clothes in their suitcases and had to sniff my way through to figure out what was clean and what was dirty. I organized the place a little and made sure breakfast food was put away and the toilet didn’t continue to smell like vomit from the night my son puked everywhere.
Our morning was definitely uninteresting. Unworthy of photos or captions. And in most of my tired thoughts and feelings today, I have felt homesick and wishing we were back in our comfy home in Austin where I could do laundry with ease and plan the evening’s meal with excitement. Where I didn’t have to wonder and worry about the strange feelings I have with my in-laws or make sure we’ve got all we need to last us through the weekend.
On the flip side of this same coin, we are having a wonderful time and making memories that I can’t even explain. It is a time I’ll always cherish and something I hope we can repeat again in the not so distant future.
But in saying all of this, I am instantly reminded of the grass is greener syndrome. A syndrome I often have and think about. There’s a lot I miss about Vienna. There are a lot of things I wish I could do and people I wish I could see more often. There’s a slower-paced lifestyle and philosophy of living that I wish we could adopt more of.
But the heart of the matter remains: Those of us who have had the opportunity and privilege of living in another city or country other than our own will forever feel a longing for that place again long after we’ve left. In addition, we will always have to fight off the feeling that the grass must be greener there than wherever we find ourselves right now. At the same time, we will always have to work hard to teach ourselves to love where we are right now and be present in that place even though we are reminded, even daily, that it is not our home. In essence, we no longer belong anywhere. The only true belonging we feel has to do with the close relationships we hold near and dear to our hearts.
I’ve decided to stop writing which day it is as my post title or header, because let’s face it, I don’t really care which day it is, and neither do you! It also puts unnecessary pressure on me to blog here every day, and while that is an ideal goal, it’s not realistic. So, away with the pressure! Be gone!
And because, let’s face it, not every day of our trip is going to be noteworthy and interesting to write about OR read.
Whew. Glad we got that out of the way…
Yesterday was one of those days. We were still kinda tired and over it all, so we opted to go see the grandparents in Mödling, which is about an hour by public transportation. Because our current apartment doesn’t have a washing machine available that we are able to use (even though it said it did in the listing), we decided to bring two loads of laundry with us so we could wash our clothes and let them dry while we hung out with my in-laws.
I’ve had some awesome ideas in my life, but this one, clearly, wasn’t among my best. Not only was it raining and cold yesterday, but asking my kids to schlep bags of dirty clothes around town and on trains and street cars was like asking them to clean their rooms. It was met by much resistance and whining. All of which, I could do without.
Regardless of the frustration and hard work of getting the clothes there, washed, hung, partially dried and back to the apartment and hung up again to dry even more, we now have some clean clothes to wear. And I won’t do that again while we’re on this trip!
Today, we spent the day walking around and going to the Kunst Haus Wien where you can view the art and architecture of Friedensreich Hundertwasser. I don’t know what it is about his work, but I am always inspired and fascinated by it. It’s so whimsical, yet so exact. And the vibrant colors and strange, yet refreshing take on design are rare and so much fun! He was truly a pioneer and his work continues to be relevant long after it was created.
Like most museums, I was not able to photograph the works of Hundertwasser during our trip, but here are a couple of examples of it I found on the web:
Rogner Bad Blumau Spa in Styria, Austria
I don’t know what it is about his work, but I just love it! And my kids did too! So playful. So fun. So whimsical. It invites you to be imperfect and create imperfect things. Our human eye is drawn to imperfection. We relate to it more than we relate to something that feels too thought through or put together.
Before we went to the Kunst Haus, my kids went to their very first Döner Kebab stand in Vienna. They thoroughly enjoyed every second of it and every bite.
My sweet boys
My girl wasn’t quite sure what she thought of the Döner Kebab, so she just ordered Pommes Rot Weiss (french fries with ketchup and mayo) and drank a Fanta. Really healthy diet we’ve got going on here, but whatever! You only live once and it’s vacation!
My sweet girl!
After our trek to the Hundertwasser, we hopped on the 1 and rode to Burgring to meet my sweet friend, Albert, who is a classical pianist in Vienna. He was supposed to be meeting a friend to do some work, but thankfully, took some time out of his day to meet up with us for a bit and begin to catch up. Albert and I met when I was living and working in Vienna as well, and it was so good to see him!
Over all, the day was a really good day. It was cold and rainy, and my daughter had refused to wear something suitable for the weather before we left our apartment, so she was cold all day…but oh well, I think she learned that when Mommy says put something warm on, she had better do it!
When we got back to our apartment, we laid around a while and tried to defrost from being out in the cold rain all day. I was going to cook dinner, but then I realized that the Lokal (restaurant and bar) down the street called Blunzenstricker had a special on Wednesdays with XL Schnitzel. The kids and I all agreed we needed to try it out. So we ventured back out into the cold rain to give it a try.
And we were NOT disappointed. It was an old, rustic place with doors on the ceilings and newspaper and antique pictures of people on the walls. The funny bathroom doors had a man’s shoe attached to the top of the door for the men’s restroom and a woman’s shoe attached to the top of door of the women’s restroom. You could tell it had been around a while, and it had a bit of a creepy, haunting Viennese feel to it as well. Lots of history there! Our waiter was super friendly, and we knew we were in good hands when this Schnitzel came out.
The infamous XL Schnitzel at Blunzenstricker
I ordered a Steirisches Backhendlsalat (Styrian Fried Chicken Salad) which was 3 cutlets of chicken over a bed of mixed greens, pumpkin seeds, beans and cooked potatoes and drizzled with pumpkin seed oil, and it was amazing! But I was so full I couldn’t even finish it all.
Styrian Fried Chicken Salad
After dinner, I promised the kids we’d order Eispalatschinken, which is basically vanilla ice cream rolled up into a crepe and smothered in chocolate sauce. It was a big hit with my kids, and the waiter was kind enough to pretend that someone got an order wrong (which rarely happens in Austria, btw) and brought us out a second plate of it. Sneaky guy!
I’m thankful he did that, or I wouldn’t have this picture to show you as the first serving was eaten much too quickly by my little vultures.
Eispalatschinken (Ice Cream filled crepes)
Yum, right? I should be full for days after that meal!
The rain continues to be a bit of a downer for us here in Vienna, but everyone keeps saying it will let up soon. And I don’t think we’re missing out on much. Do you?
After our amazing outing the day before, today turned out to be a day of much-needed rest.
When we got home from our friend Claudia’s house, I quickly got the kids to bed and I literally collapsed into my bed without so much as an ounce of energy leftover.
We had definitely run too hard the day before, but I also think the jet lag was catching up to me as well as all the stress of packing and just getting here. I was done, fried, baked…or as they say in Austria “Kaputt!”
But pretty soon after I had closed my eyes and entered into a deep trance, I heard footsteps and the sound no mother traveling alone with 3 kids wants to hear: projectile vomit. Everywhere!
I’ll spare you the details, but let’s just say it looked like something from Poltergeist in this tiny little apartment. I have so much respect for those who clean up crime scenes or work in the ER. This was not a pretty sight. Or smell. My poor baby had eaten too much the day before and he just couldn’t keep it in. (he was immediately fine afterwards, and I’ve been keeping him hydrated today)
Subsequently, I spent the next two hours cleaning up and didn’t get to bed until after 2am. When I awoke this morning, it felt as if I had never slept. I was so so tired. And my poor kids were beyond exhausted — especially the one who had just lost half of his body weight.
So, we slowly got up and around, made our way to the grocery store at around 11:30am, and came back to the apartment to try and eat a little and head to my parents-in-law. But at about 3pm, when I noticed how content my kids were just laying down in their beds on their tablets, I called off all engagements and called it a day IN.
We literally didn’t move for hours upon hours other than to go to the bathroom, get drinks and bicker. When evening finally did hit, my youngest thought it was still morning and asked what we were having for breakfast. That, my friends, is how OUT OF IT we all were.
So, thanks to my friend Tammy, we ate some leftovers she had given us, got cleaned up and went out for ice cream and came back home and crashed again.
The place we went for ice cream is called Zanoni & Rindo. We have been there one other time since we arrived, and the kids begged for it again. Today, we got to know the owners and enjoyed a nice long conversation about American politics. Austrians love to question Americans for their political leadership — especially about this particular administration. I know of NO Austrian who doesn’t have a strong political opinion about American government, and right now, I think any conversation is a good one to get their minds off of their own political disaster that they are currently going through. Because I lent an ear, the owner kindly gave my kids a second cone of their choice. Very generous!!
Why am I up still? Because I wanted to get this post out to you. And…I’m too hot to sleep. This is the only downside of staying in Austria during the late spring. It does cool off to a nice 50 degrees at night, but there’s no ventilation in the room and if you open your window, you’ll hear all the people walking the streets and cars going by. We solved this problem by wearing eye masks and ear plugs at night, but tonight, all 3 kids said they’d go without and I’m afraid of opening the window. But I think I might have to. I’m 44 and I don’t do warm well.
All in all, it was a great day, and you know what it taught me? We need to slow down. The reason we decided to do this trip is because we really want to see family and friends, but we decided to stay a few weeks, because we want to also enjoy ourselves and take in the city of Vienna. But we have to make room for rest, and today showed me that we have to create that margin ASAP!!
So, we were somewhat loose today and enjoyed the downtime of constant tablet time, and I know tomorrow we will enjoy spending the day with the grandparents in Mödling.
I didn’t get a chance to write yesterday (Sunday, May 19th), because we were literally going, going, going from the time we got up! That’s not usually how I like to roll with 3 kids, but it’s how it turned out, and we were tired, but fine.
We started out the day going to our old church, Grace Church, in a local student building in the 7th district near the Westbahnhof. It’s an international church, and the pastor who married us was guest preaching there. Even though it was a smaller congregation than I had remembered when I was there, there was still a heart there that I know I have missed since we moved. The church is comprised of Filipinos, Nigerians, Koreans, Austrians and every other nationality in between. I think that’s what makes it so special. There’s a feeling that everyone is there for the same reason and coming together, regardless of culture or social status.
After church, we spoke with a few old friends and traveled from there to a local Heuriger, Fuhrgassl Huber, where my husband I were married to meet up with some friends for lunch. The atmosphere in the 19th district of Vienna called Grinzing has nothing to be compared to. It is lush and beautiful, quaint and cozy, clean and serene and there is wine and amazing food waiting for you at every other door. Yesterday, we enjoyed Backhendl (fried chicken), Schnitzel and Erdaepfelsalat with white wine and grape juice spritzers. It was pure heaven! For dessert, the kids ordered a cream puff roll and Topfenstrudel, which is like cheesecake with a strudel dough.
After that, we wanted to go back to our apartment and freshen up, but we realized we had no time. We were invited to my friend Claudia’s for dinner, and I knew we’d be late if we ventured back to the apartment. Trying to explain to my kids that we can’t just “run by” our house and rest a bit was tough. They are used to us being able to make a quick pitstop and head back out, but when you’re apartment is outside of the main part of town, this just isn’t possible.
Before we went to my friend’s house, we went into the city center, the 1st district of Vienna, to hear my friend/pastor, Stefan preach in the streets. He does this with an organization, and it’s fascinating to watch. I was so happy to witness it live!
As we walked up Burggasse, past the Kunsthistorisches Museum and Museumsquartier into the 7th district to my friend’s house, I was instantly taken back to the first year I lived in Vienna in 2001. I had an apartment in the 7th district on Neustiftgasse, just one street over, and I used to have to walk to my apartment, past all of these national monuments, after meeting with friends or going for a vocal coaching. Many times, it was freezing cold, and many nights I felt so alone and vulnerable on that trek, but it was exhilarating to walk that same path I walked and relive it in a new light, with my 3 sweet kiddos!
As we walked by my favorite local hangouts in Spittelberg, I was enraptured by the sights and smells of I Ragazzi, Amerlingsbeisl and of course, Plutzerbraeu. The feeling of Neubau is one that I vividly remember. As a foreigner living alone, I must say that I felt intimidated and many times a bit insecure, sure, but also very safe and secure in this quiet, artists’ district. It is truly my favorite district of Vienna for so many reasons.
It has so many beautiful buildings that are considered the standard Viennese Altbau (old buildings) that have retained their charm for hundreds of years.
It houses the Leopold collection in the Museumsquartier and the works of Klimt and Schiele, and it tends to be the most modern and progressive part of Vienna with new, trendy restaurants and galleries.
It sits directly behind the Volkstheater and is home to the large shopping district of Mariahilferstrasse.
At my friend’s apartment, we enjoyed wonderful champagne, zucchini cream soup, roasted chicken and cooked potatoes. For dessert, we enjoyed Eis (ice cream) from Gelateria La Romana on Neustiftgasse and pastries from L. Heiner on Kaertnerstrasse. Needless to say, we were STUFFED!! One of Claudia’s and my traditions when we see each other is having a shot (or 2) of Eierlikör after dessert, which is basically a strong eggnog in a bottle. And for some reason, she and I always giggle when we take a sip! This has gone on for years.
When the kids and I finally left Claudia’s, it was well past our bedtime. But we were able to walk down the well-lit Burggasse and catch our subway to Schottentor where we hopped on the 44 to head back to our apartment. It took us less than 15 minutes total.
As tired as we were, this day was full of so much love and friendship. I loved spending the time with each and every person we saw and reconnect again.
Outside of the amazing scenery and food, any city, even one as beautiful as Vienna, is empty without being around those we love. I am so fortunate to have my children with me this time, and I am reminded that I did not always walk these streets with companions like them. I walked them alone. But the people that I came to know after what seemed like an eternity of loneliness have stayed with me and continue to be a beacon of light in this incredible place!
Today, my girlfriend Tammy met us at a the Meierei Diglas Cafe within the beautiful, historical Türkenschanzpark. There, we enjoyed amazing Viennese coffee with breads, scrambled eggs, sliced avocados and smoked salmon on bagels while viewing the amazing botanical gardens, pathways and ponds all around us.
Me and my first friend in Vienna
My kids thoroughly enjoyed wondering off and throwing around their football as my friend and I caught up and chatted over coffee. Afterwards, we met up with another family and walked down to the central gated playground of the park to let the kids run around and play while we sat at a picnic table and watched them. There were so many things for kids of every age to do. Kids from ages 2 to 13 ran around the park equally enjoying all it had to offer. It was also very clean and well-kept, which is all you can expect from a Viennese park and surrounding gardens.
Türkenschanzpark has an amazing history, and while it is about outside of the city center of Vienna, it is well worth venturing out to in order to enjoy its serene surroundings and space to roam.
Kids on the bus
Once we left our friends at the park, we traveled by public transportation and train to visit my in-laws in Mödling. If you don’t know the history of this city, look it up. It’s a fascinating and very old city with a lot of history! But then again, what cities aren’t fascinating in Europe?! My husband is from this town, and it just so happens to be where we got married on June 19, 2004.
We spent a couple hours there with the grandparents playing in the garden before we headed back to Vienna to visit a friend for dinner at her apartment in the 20th district off of Jägerstraße. And from there, we went home to our apartment and called it a night as we were all pooped!
We didn’t do many touristy things today, but it was a fun day because we spent it with friends and family catching up and making memories.
Tomorrow, we will visit our former church, Grace Church, an international non-denominational church in Vienna, then go for a nice lunch at a local Heuriger and then visit my friend Claudia for dinner in the artist’s district of Neubau where I lived for the first year I was living in Vienna.
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