Post #3 – My Big AH-HA! Moment

In the post before this one, I shared with you how listening to podcasts and audiobooks literally TRANSFORMED MY LIFE!!  I am THE evangelist for podcasts who will tell you that podcasts are THE BOMB!  If you aren’t already listening AVIDLY to podcasts, NOW is the time to get started!

While I was sitting there at my desk job at Apple and listening to podcasts like a fiend, I had an epiphany, and it went something like this:

These people are NO different than me.  They just got started and are doing it.  I have every. bit. of ability. stamina. motivation. talent that THESE PEOPLE I’m listening to have.  THAT’S IT!!!  THIS IS WHAT I’M SUPPOSED TO BE DOING!!

And that was it.  There was no more turning back.  There was no more thinking, “Gee…I really wish I had the drive to do something amazing.”  All there really was at that point was POWER.  I now felt completely empowered and equipped to get this all figured out and just DO it!  Like the Nike ad, “JUST DO IT!”  It made so much sense to me.  I had spent years turning my wheels and wondering what I was supposed to do.  And then I just realized that the people who are successful are only successful because they have just done it.  They have done it.  Failed.  Done it again.  Tried.  Failed.  Gotten back up.  Done it again.  And eventually…if they kept with it, they were successful at it.

So what had tripped me up all those years?  The answer is simple and oh so common:  FEAR OF FAILURE.  It had plagued me like nothing else could.  Fear of failure had left me paralyzed and useless.

But no more.  I was determined to make something happen.  And I want to share that determination with you.  YOU can make something happen too.  We are in this together.

So…JUST DO IT!

Post #2 – How Podcasts and Audiobooks Saved Me

While working at Apple on the Maps Team, I quickly discovered that I was allowed to listen to things on my headphones while working.  BONUS!!  I love love love music, but since I’m a singer, I had a hard time listening to the music on my headphones without blurting out what I was hearing.  I’m also a life-long learner and wanted the time there to be worthwhile for me, as sometimes the job itself was admittedly a little boring.  OK…a lot boring.

I remember the first day of training when I discovered podcasts.  I had heard people mention that they listened to podcasts, but I had never really explored what they were and what interest I would have in listening to them.  After all, I had 3 kids.  Who needed more voices to hear and things to do???  Not moi.  But this…this job…allowed me to sit and listen to whatever I wanted to hear, so it seemed only logical to figure out what that would be.  I started with podcasts of preachers.  I’ve always loved hearing passionate, articulate preachers deliver a good message.  I thought, “Oh…this will be great!!!  I’ll be in a position to be uplifted WHILE I work!!!”  And one day, while listening to a preacher I loved to hear, I started noticing there were literally podcasts with all different kinds of topics and subject matter.  I bounced around a little here and there and started becoming familiar with the navigation around podcasts and key words to enter in the search bar, and discovered an entire world of valuable information delivered RIGHT INTO MY HEADPHONES!

One of the first small business podcasts I listened to was Chalene Johnson’s “Build Your Tribe”.  On this podcast, Chalene interviews leaders in the online business industry and talks about her own personal journey while sharing amazing tips and tricks for getting your online business off the ground.  Once I ran out of podcast episodes from Chalene, I started researching some of the people she had been interviewing and discovered Pat Flynn, Michael Stelzner, Michael Hyatt and Lewis Howes.  Pat Flynn was a huge resource for me at the beginning.  I even downloaded and listened to his audiobook entitled “Will It Fly?” and was super intrigued by the amazing insight and educational content value his business Smart Passive Income provides.  Then…somewhere in there, I discovered Amy Porterfield, and let me just tell you, my whole perspective on what I was supposed me doing changed in a heartbeat!  If I weren’t clear on what I was supposed to be doing BEFORE listening to Amy Porterfield, I was CERTAINLY clear now.  She has podcasts on everything from facebook tips to creating content for your online business.  Her tagline is “Online Marketing Made Easy” and she certainly makes it sound like it is!

So now, I will just tell you that I am an evangelist for good podcasts that share AMAZING information and help people like me get their game on and figure out what it is we’re supposed to be doing!

Divine Affirmation

Every time a moment like this happens, I think to myself, “I need to write this down.”  But then, shortly thereafter, the moment passes and the gumption to record its effect quickly fades.

So, here’s the deal in a nutshell.  I’ve been feeling low.  Like wayyyy low.  And I want to say that I prayed about it and God quickly rescued me out of that low and helped me feel better, but something even sweeter happened.  I prayed that God would show me what he wanted me to do and lift me up.

Today I got a call from a woman who is my mentor mom in MOPS.  I had hesitated to call her and talk to her about how I was feeling because for me, it’s easier to hole up and deal with things alone.  the problem with that method is that I end up feeling more alone and sometimes more conspired against in the process.  She, in her own sweet way, told me specifically how my life impacted the group.  She told me about my bright light and my gifts that are integral and so necessary for the group to thrive and function.

Not even an hour later, I just happened to get a notification on my phone that someone had written me a private message through our church’s social network, “The City”.  The message was from a person in our RLG at church who I barely know.  She told me she really enjoyed hearing my point of view and how “passionate and articulate” I am.  She said she wants to get to know me better and talk, because she enjoyed hearing me talk so much.

Hearing both of these things within an hour was one thing, but hearing them after I’ve undergone so much pain and sadness throughout the past few months was like an incredible healing salve that immediate soothed and healed the pain.  It’s as if I never had any pain to begin with.  I’m amazed by these very specific affirmations about who I am coming from two people within a short time span.  It’s not just a self-esteem booster either.  That would not have the healing powers that these words had.  These words were specific.  They affirmed what I could only hope I am putting out there and made me realize how unique and individual we all are and how unique and individual our gifts and abilities are.  If I had not heard those words today, I would probably still be lingering a bit in my pit of despair and thinking about how I don’t belong.  Instead, however, I have a new spring in my step today.  I’m confident.  I’m breathing.  I’m living.  I’m loving.

These women may never know the impact they had on my spirit today.  I needed their words more than they could ever imagine.  That said, it makes me even more conscientious about all the people who need my specific words of affirmations in their lives.

Reflecting on 2013

I have really been avoiding posting on this blog over the past few months.  It’s not because I didn’t have anything to write about.  I always have something to write about.  But I have avoided it because I haven’t been consistent with it like I’ve wanted to be this year, and like anything, once you stumble off the wagon, it’s really hard to get back on.  I’m a perfectionist in the sense that I hate being inconsistent.  In my mind, if I can’t give 100% and be really good at something, I don’t want to do it at all.  But therein lies a real tragedy:  We don’t end up doing anything!  That’s me.

So, here I am again.  Inconsistently blogging, and I highly doubt, with a baby on the way this week, things will change anytime soon.  But I’m vowing that, in 2014 I’m going to be OK with that.  I’m also going to be OK with attempting other things I can’t do 100% — homeschooling my oldest, cooking dinners, keeping the house clean, keeping up with laundry, corresponding with friends and family and the list goes on and on.

Over the past few weeks, as I’ve had some down time awaiting our newest addition, I’ve had some time to reflect on this past year, and I really want to share this with you and how much God has blessed our family through some unforeseen, challenging circumstances.

Our 2013 started out just a little rocky as we dealt with medical issues surrounding my son Tate’s unexpected seizures and brain inflammation in November 2012.  We were, at best, coping with all the information we had been given, all the questions, all the upcoming appointments and procedures, and perhaps more daunting, all the medical bills.  I can’t exactly put into words the sense of overwhelm we felt as parents of a young boy who had medical issues with no diagnosis and no treatment in sight.  We sought out alternative medicine in the form of chiropractic care, herbs and acupressure in addition to making countless phone calls with specialists at the children’s hospital on his behalf, contemplating all the possible reasons he was going through what we was going through and giving him medication that was merely a bandage for the symptoms he was having while witnessing the side effects they caused him.  We prayed.  We went to appointments.  We neglected other areas of our lives.  We attempted to put on a happy face and shuffle through life like a normal family even though nothing about how we were feeling and thinking was normal.

As our year progressed, the initial shock and disruption subsided and we were able to assume a new normal in our family.  This normal was a lot like our previous normal — only it involved watching our son’s every move, having weekly conversations and visits with doctors and giving my son his medication and acupressure treatments multiple times a day.  We adapted.  And so did he.  No diagnosis was ever given, but we were elated that he was doing well and his seizures seemed to go away completely.

In addition to my son’s issues, we’ve been concerned about our extended families and some other situations going on with them, our own finances — which took a huge hit from all of the medical bills and expenses surrounding that, my vocal studio’s lack of enrollment, my lack of time and energy to do anything about it, and therefore, that lack of income, a sad, unexplained situation with our church which led us to another church, normal sicknesses and other every day occurrences that you don’t even think twice about unless you are already feeling pushed over the edge.  Oh yeah, and finding out we were expecting another baby!

In many ways, our lives were no different than anyone else’s life this year.  Everyone has his/her very own set of trials, joys, concerns and challenges.  Just while trying to write this post, I realized that my site had been hacked and while my content was still there, the design of my website has been distorted.  I mean, COME ON!  But I digress…

I said all that to say, despite 2013’s challenges, I am so grateful for this year.  It has taught me a lot personally, and it has helped to mold and shape our little family in ways beyond my imagination.  We are still growing…we are still being molded and shaped, but we are stronger for having gone through all of this.  Life has not been perfect, and since I am a perfectionist by nature, it has helped me to let loose of my tight grip and come to terms with all the imperfections.  It doesn’t mean I don’t still get caught up in the day-to-day frustrations of my house not being as clean as I’d like or not having it together.  I’d still like to be able to prioritize and manage my time a little better and get more done.  I’d like to attempt to find a balance in my life between spending quality time with my kids and continuing to take care of myself so I can be the best Mommy I can be and earn a stable second income as well.  These are all of my hopes and goals for 2014.  I want to figure some things out.  I want to learn the balance, but be content with the lack of balance I will experience on most days with 3 kids under the age of 5.  I want to enjoy life and cherish every moment.

Happy 2014!!  May this be a blessed year for us all 🙂

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