Mama Muttwill

Homesick for Travel

by Amy | May 18, 2019 | travel

This past week, my kids and I embarked on a journey of a lifetime and flew to Europe. I’ve been wanting to travel internationally with them for years, but our financial situation was prohibitive, our time was limited and to be honest, they weren’t at an age before where they would have been much fun to be around. I really wanted to get past the stage of diapers, bottles and potty training before we made this trek again. And now…we’re past it!

Why was this so important to me?

You see, I studied abroad and traveled quite a bit when I was in my twenties, and subsequently, I met and married a wonderful man from Vienna, Austria where I lived, studied and worked for almost 4 years. As soon as he and I married, however, we decided to move back to the U.S. and settle down in Austin, TX. Don’t ask me why we did this. At the time, it seemed like better opportunities awaited and we were both antsy for a change. Although we never anticipated it being a permanent move for us, as we still loved the place where we met and my husband grew up, we have grown to call Austin, TX our home for the past 15 years. And yet…our heart beckons for travel and adventure and desperately longs to be back in Austria and reconnect with our roots. And here we finally are!

I’d venture to say that once you travel abroad, you never lose the bug. Am I right? I think it stays with you forever, and there’s a part of you that always longs for those places where you discovered who you were and realized that the world around you was so vast and so different than the place you came from. In German, the word Fernweh has an even stronger meaning than Wanderlust. While someone with Wanderlust might think of a place they once traveled fondly and fantasize about going back, Fernweh is a deep sort of longing that won’t let up. It’s less about fantasizing and more about homesickness for another place.

That’s how I feel about Europe. I feel homesick for it. Especially Austria. The sights, the smells, the language, the food…all add up to an experience you can’t even put into words. It’s a part of me, like a limb, calling me back home. While I am a U.S. citizen and grew up in the Midwest doing everything people do there, I have a different kind of citizenship with Austria. In a way, I felt more at home the first time I went there than I ever felt in my hometown. It was as if I finally found where I belonged. And it felt good!

It’s also a huge part of my children’s heritage that they should know about and understand completely. Since my husband is Austrian, my children are half-Austrian. It’s important that they know who they are and where they’re partially from. It’s important that they understand how they might also identify more in some areas with that side of their family and less in others. And I take great responsibility when it comes to showing them who their ancestors are and what this culture is all about — even if they were born in and live in a completely different culture.

So, there ya have it! We are embracing this Austrian culture over the next 5 weeks, and while there will be challenges in doing so, I could not be happier to be here with my 3 children.

Is there somewhere you’d just love to go back to? I’d love to hear about it.

I’m looking forward to sharing our adventures with you one amazing bite and drink and sight and smell at a time, and encouraging YOU to do the same with your children. You won’t regret it!

xo,

Amy

preparing for international travel with children

by Amy | May 4, 2019 | travel

When traveling abroad with children, there are some things to consider and plan for.

Plan ahead. Get as familiarized with where you will be traveling as soon as possible and set your itinerary ahead of time.
What to look for in accommodations. When booking accommodations, make sure your lodging has a kitchen and a washing machine on the site. This is a must for families! Your wallet will thank you!
Passports. Getting children’s passports is a relatively easy process if you’re planning in advance. If you have less than 8 weeks before travel time, expediting your passports may be necessary.
Kid Friendly Cities. There are many kid-friendly European cities to go to. Look ahead at maps and online guides to cities in order to find out where you can go.
Restaurants. While many European restaurants do not have children’s menus, they are becoming more and more popular. When in doubt, ask the wait staff what they would recommend for children.
Flight connections. Make sure you book flights with fewer than 5 hour layovers and no less than 2 hours. You don’t want to wait too long in between flights, but you also don’t want to be rushing to the next gate with young children — especially if you have to go through customs.
Baggage allowance. Check ahead for baggage restrictions and fees pertaining to checked luggage and carry on luggage. THIS IS HUGE!
Walking shoes. Make sure you have packed REAL walking shoes for your trip for each member of your family. In most U.S. countries, our walking is limited and therefore, we don’t wear shoes that adequately support our feet. In Europe and other countries around the world, however, comfortable shoes are a MUST.
Grocery shopping. When we travel, I always try and find the discount grocery stores to buy our food. In Austria and Germany, stores like Aldi, Hofer and Lidl offer the best prices and help to stretch your budget.
Planning for rest. If you are trying to pack a lot in a few days with young children, everyone will be tired and cranky. If possible, build in rest days or parts of the day where you have no agenda and can take it easy and do something low key.

Traveling with children is a fun adventure with many rewards for all involved. Even though it’s a little trickier than traveling as an adult, the challenges of traveling with children can be averted with some careful planning, and of course, flexibility.

Part 1: Getting Clear on what you {really} want

by Amy | Apr 4, 2019 | Mom on the Fringe

Whether it’s on the playground, at a birthday party or over a glass of wine with a good friend, there always seems to be a common theme in our conversation: Time. Or the lack thereof.

Everyone is pressed for time. But Moms seem to be pressed for time about a billion times more than anyone else I know. I mean, I didn’t do any scientific research there, but I’m pretty sure my estimate is accurate. No offense if you’re super busy and you’re NOT a Mom. Really. Are you offended that I said this? Sorry.

But here’s the deal, for many of us Moms, our goals and dreams don’t go away just because we have umpteen kids we have to feed. Again, that’s an exaggeration. I just have 3. THREEEEEEEE!!! They are beautiful children who I adore and love spending time with. But let’s face it, when they’re around, it’s not like I can just go work on my blog, paint, journal, learn a new skill or achieve tasks that require concentration. Actually, I’m happy if I can go to the bathroom for one minute without hearing someone try to murder someone else in the next room.

However, even though the odds tend to be against us, we see more and more Moms getting &h!t done and achieving their dreams than ever before. “How in the actual world is this possible????” you ask?

Well, while I don’t have all the answers, I think there are some pretty tried and true commonalities among Moms who are able to make their lives work really well for themselves and their families on the fringe of their hectic, busy days, and I want to share those with you here today on the blog and talk about them next week on our upcoming podcast series entitled “Mom on the Fringe”.

brainstorming sesh

But before we get started, I want you to think about who you admire and what they are doing. Now, you might admire a lot of people for different reasons, but as you read this, I want you to think of someone in your life who seems to have it all sort of figured out. I mean, this person might not be perfect. Who is? But she seems to have found her niche, her passion, her higher purpose, and she is making it work for herself and her family. Can you get a visual? Now, before you go off dreaming this person up, I want you to actually know her and not just follow her on social media platforms. I want you to know her struggles as well as her successes. Do you know this person really well? Is she someone you could call up and ask about how she does it all? Because if you don’t know her, you might have a preconceived idea of who she is and not really have the back end of how her life is actually going. The point is, I want this to be a real person.

OK! So now we have her. Is she doing something you think you might like to do? What is it about her life that makes you admire her or even want to emulate her? Try not to just think about outward appearance, although, it’s not wrong to admire another woman’s beauty or style. But I want you to think a little deeper about what makes this person so special.

Is she in really good shape?

Does she seem to be organized?

Does she cook delicious, fancy meals?

Is she outgoing, prolific or talented in some way?

Is she successful at her business?

Is she great at decorating her home?

Does she seem to be really spiritual and have a good handle on her beliefs and how she lives those beliefs out in her daily life?

Does she have a thriving marriage?

Now, I’ll post about this topic and speak about it on my podcast as we go through this series, but I want you to think in terms of admiration and not jealousy. We are specifically talking about traits you admire, K?

What stands out to you?

Now I want you to do a little digging. I want you to get out a piece of blank paper and your favorite pen (doesn’t everyone have a favorite pen?) and write down anything that comes to mind about whatever it is you would like to be more of or have in your life. If you’ve never created a dream board or brainstormed, this exercise might feel silly, but bear with me…your dreams are not a waste of time. And this process will eventually get us somewhere. I promise.

Did you do it? If you didn’t, don’t read another line of this blog post!!!

Did you do it now?

OK. What did your brainstorming paper say? Were you honest with yourself? No answer on that paper is wrong. What are the things that stand out to you?? I want you to circle them. I want you to focus on them. I want you to think about them. A lot.

What would your life look like if you were able to incorporate the top 5 things you wrote down in your life THIS YEAR?! What would your life look like if you were even able to make ONE of these things happen?

It’s completely doable, Friend. It’s just a matter of putting all the steps in place to get there.

Ya ready?

xo,

Amy

Getting Clear on what you {really} want: Part 1

by Amy | Apr 4, 2019 | Mom on the Fringe

Whether it’s on the playground, at a birthday party or over a glass of wine with a good friend, there always seems to be a common theme in our conversation: Time. Or the lack thereof.

Everyone is pressed for time. But Moms seem to be pressed for time about a billion times more than anyone else I know. I mean, I didn’t do any scientific research there, but I’m pretty sure my estimate is accurate. No offense if you’re super busy and you’re NOT a Mom. Really. Are you offended that I said this? Sorry.

But here’s the deal, for many of us Moms, our goals and dreams don’t go away just because we have umpteen kids we have to feed. Again, that’s an exaggeration. I just have 3. THREEEEEEEE!!! They are beautiful children who I adore and love spending time with. But let’s face it, when they’re around, it’s not like I can just go work on my blog, paint, journal, learn a new skill or achieve tasks that require concentration. Actually, I’m happy if I can go to the bathroom for one minute without hearing someone try to murder someone else in the next room.

However, even though the odds tend to be against us, we see more and more Moms getting &h!t done and achieving their dreams than ever before. “How in the actual world is this possible????” you ask?

Well, while I don’t have all the answers, I think there are some pretty tried and true commonalities among Moms who are able to make their lives work really well for themselves and their families on the fringe of their hectic, busy days, and I want to share those with you here today on the blog and talk about them next week on our upcoming podcast series entitled “Mom on the Fringe”.

brainstorming sesh

But before we get started, I want you to think about who you admire and what they are doing. Now, you might admire a lot of people for different reasons, but as you read this, I want you to think of someone in your life who seems to have it all sort of figured out. I mean, this person might not be perfect. Who is? But she seems to have found her niche, her passion, her higher purpose, and she is making it work for herself and her family. Can you get a visual? Now, before you go off dreaming this person up, I want you to actually know her and not just follow her on social media platforms. I want you to know her struggles as well as her successes. Do you know this person really well? Is she someone you could call up and ask about how she does it all? Because if you don’t know her, you might have a preconceived idea of who she is and not really have the back end of how her life is actually going. The point is, I want this to be a real person.

OK! So now we have her. Is she doing something you think you might like to do? What is it about her life that makes you admire her or even want to emulate her? Try not to just think about outward appearance, although, it’s not wrong to admire another woman’s beauty or style. But I want you to think a little deeper about what makes this person so special.

Is she in really good shape?
Does she seem to be organized?
Does she cook delicious, fancy meals?
Is she outgoing, prolific or talented in some way?
Is she successful at her business?
Is she great at decorating her home?
Does she seem to be really spiritual and have a good handle on her beliefs and how she lives those beliefs out in her daily life?
Does she have a thriving marriage?

Now, I’ll post about this topic and speak about it on my podcast as we go through this series, but I want you to think in terms of admiration and not jealousy. We are specifically talking about traits you admire, K?

What stands out to you?

Now I want you to do a little digging. I want you to get out a piece of blank paper and your favorite pen (doesn’t everyone have a favorite pen?) and write down anything that comes to mind about whatever it is you would like to be more of or have in your life. If you’ve never created a dream board or brainstormed, this exercise might feel silly, but bear with me…your dreams are not a waste of time. And this process will eventually get us somewhere. I promise.

Did you do it? If you didn’t, don’t read another line of this blog post!!!

Did you do it now?

OK. What did your brainstorming paper say? Were you honest with yourself? No answer on that paper is wrong. What are the things that stand out to you?? I want you to circle them. I want you to focus on them. I want you to think about them. A lot.

What would your life look like if you were able to incorporate the top 5 things you wrote down in your life THIS YEAR?! What would your life look like if you were even able to make ONE of these things happen?

It’s completely doable, Friend. It’s just a matter of putting all the steps in place to get there.

Ya ready?

xo,

Amy

The Struggle is Real

by Amy | Mar 8, 2019 | Uncategorized

Last week, I decided I wanted to get really serious about working on this blog. I’ve blogged off and on for years and years since 2011, but I’ve always struggled to be consistent and put out content on a regular basis.

Well, now I am seeing why this struggle is so real and how hard it is to dedicate the time to do something like this consistently. Life just happens. Kids get sick and you have to go pick them up at school. And then, you find out they weren’t really that sick, but probably “just needed to poop.” I kid you not. This happened yesterday. My daughter’s preschool teacher called me and said, “Georgia isn’t playing like she normally does, and she’s complaining about a tummy ache. Maybe you should come get her.” So I did. But once we got home, she just had to poop and her tummy was all better. Next week, I’m sending her to school with a bottle of Tums or a coffee from Starbucks.

Committing to something and doing it regularly is a challenge for anyone. But committing to something and doing it regularly as a parent of young children feels like the tallest of orders. Life with kids is just so unpredictable. And let’s not even discuss how tired we are!

The struggle is real.

As I sit here, on this Friday morning at 6:35am, I’m realizing, once again, how this blog is going to take some Herculean effort on my part to see through. And I love that challenge. But I also know it’s going to take more than me waking up a mere 40 minutes before the kids do. It’s going to take me waking up at least 2 hours before they do and clocking in those hours daily in order for me to produce something that’s worthwhile for my readers.

So, here’s my attempt at something today. I promise to continue and make this a top priority. I promise to not only do that, but to fight for this blog and make it a reality.

xoxo,

Amy

the lengths we’ll go to

by Amy | Mar 1, 2019 | singing

I have been EXTREMELY fortunate in my life to have the opportunity to work with people who have profoundly inspired me. I grew up in a small town suburb of Kansas City, Missouri. My Dad was a hardworking mechanic and VW salesman. My Mom stayed at home and raised three kids while she operated a thriving cake business out of our home. While we never went without, our lives were simple and our excesses were few.

We were church-going people, and we spent a lot of time going back and forth to various church activities throughout each week. Our parents’ meager income was enough to afford us the opportunity to go to a Christian school, but beyond that, higher education was rarely emphasized in our circles.

Throughout my childhood, I took piano lessons off and on for several years. Playing the piano soothed me and helped me make sense of the world. Alongside taking piano, I developed another passion that eventually took over and guided me throughout middle school and high school — singing!

Like many kids, high school was a tough period for me. My parents weren’t able to buy me a car, so I had to work to pay for my car. I later was appreciative of this, because it cultivated a work ethic in me that I would later use to my advantage. But, at the time, it caused me to have to choose between school involvements, like choir, and responsibilities, like working. Yet, even with those choices, I was able to participate in elite choirs throughout high school and achieve a level of success with those choirs.

After I graduated from high school, the last thing on my mind was college. I was more interested in earning money, partying with friends and boys. Because there wasn’t a history of college graduates in my family, I was not encouraged to press forward into even the “thought” of obtaining a degree.

Despite all that, I ended up going to our local metropolitan community college for a year and then quit school to get a job as a men’s fragrance salesperson at a department store. While I was working behind the counter at The Jones Store, there was a mallwalker by the name of Richard who would come by every day and spray on his Aramis cologne. Little did I know, he had just lost his wife of 50 years to cancer, and this was a way for him to get out of the house and meet people.

Over and over again, Richard would come by my counter and wave a nice greeting as he walked away. Until one day, he stopped and said, “What do you really want to do?” This question took me by surprise, because I didn’t realize I had options. I answered him, and simply said, “I don’t know. What do you mean?”

Richard went on to ask me what I enjoyed doing or what I knew most about. He then went on to explain how he had just lost his wife to cancer and spent the bulk of his career as an accountant. But what he realized when he retired was that he actually really enjoyed painting — specifically with pastels — and he wishes he would have pursued that further. Then, he asked me again, “What do you really want to do?”

This time, my answer was different. I had always loved music. I loved singing. And just recently, before this encounter with Richard, I had found a cassette tape of Beethoven symphonies in the back of a used car my Dad had bought, and I couldn’t stop listening to it. The sound of strings playing together in such perfect, pristine collaboration was the most magnificent sound I had ever heard with my own ears. I was hooked. I needed this in my life somehow…some way! So, finally, when he asked me this question I had an answer: “I want to do something with music.”

Over the course of the next few months, he would continue to walk by and ask me how my plans were coming along. The details of the timeline are now fuzzy, but I know that I was able to get an application sent to me by my local university at UMKC, and I filled it out. Over the course of the next few months I would take voice lessons from teachers I knew and prepare for an audition for the Conservatory of Music. And when that day came, I did it!

A few weeks later, I received a letter that I was accepted into the Conservatory as a music ed major, but only on probation. See, my grades in high school and community college weren’t that great, so I needed to prove myself and get those grades up to stay in the program. Challenge accepted!

I tell you all that to say that those years from 1994 to 1998 were some of the most formative years in my entire life. I had the opportunity to study under some AMAZING teachers like, Dr. Charles Robinson, Dr. Randall Pembrook and Dr. Eph Ehly (pictured above). Those men, and so many other instrumental teachers there, taught me the value of perseverance and hard work. They taught me that life was more than just earning a living. They taught me that “we don’t teach music to people, but we teach people through music.” They taught me that I had a purpose, that I had value and I had the right to dream big. But most importantly, they taught me that, above talent…above all else really, my highest purpose is to inspire, encourage and support others to live out their purpose as well.

Toward my last year or two of undergrad (again, the timeline is fuzzy), my financial situation begin to take its toll on me. I was living at home, working part-time to full-time hours at Sprint Relay Center for the Speech and Hearing Impaired while going to college full time. My drive from my parents’ home to the school and then to work was like a big triangle where nothing was close together or convenient. Many of my required courses were spread out throughout the day, and parking at Grant Hall, where most of my classes were, was always a nightmare. Not only that, but my car was always a less-than-reliable source of transportation. It seemed to always break down somewhere at the most inconvenient of times when I was either on my way to work or an important rehearsal.

Early on in my studies, Sprint had a program that reimbursed college education — in any major. I took full advantage of this during my first two years of school. But after those first two years, they changed the program to only include degrees that were complimentary to the company — like business or computer science. I was at a fork in the road where I needed to either change majors or take out student loans. At that point in my life, and many times before and since then, my only database for handling decisions revolved around money and my current financial stability. But this time was different. After much deliberation and prayer, I decided to stay on with the music program I had begun and already invested in.

The main challenge, however, was always my commitment to stick it out even when my outer circumstances sometimes dictated that I fall off the path completely and derail. I wanted so badly to take the easy route. I wanted life to be easy-breezy and not filled with so many obligations and commitments. I wanted what I saw my friends having: the glamorous life of parties and dating and new cars. Instead, I was working my butt off and barely finding time to practice my instrument or prepare for exams. I had already let my grades slip and began ditching classes when Dr. Robinson pulled me into his office and talked with me about what was going on. He didn’t judge me. He just genuinely listened to how I was doing. And then he nudged me and encouraged me to keep on going and fight for this. And I took his nudge to heart and pressed on.

Being a part of the Heritage Chorale at UMKC was another nudge for me to press on throughout undergrad, and it gave me a glimpse outside of my own circumstances and into all the possibilities that could await me if I chose to press on and release all the baggage. By the way, the music building where we met for choir was where Walt Disney himself had attended elementary school. Isn’t that the coolest? I had NO idea what awaited me in that choir room when I walked into choir that first day. Our choir director, Dr. Eph Ehly, would stand at the door of the choir room at every single rehearsal and force you to shake his hand with a firm grip. “No weak handshakes allowed.” Once everyone had taken their seats, he spoke words that would inspire generations of music makers and educators alike to go out and change the world. He would encourage us to leave our problems at the door and come together for this divine hour and focus on the task at hand: the music.

That year, under the direction of Dr. Ehly, Heritage Chorale was invited to sing at Carnegie Hall in New York City. During that entire year, my life was transformed. I was so inspired and so much more committed to the journey than I had been before. I started to see a light at the end of the tunnel, but most importantly, I started to actually enjoy the journey and embrace the hard work, because I knew I was supposed to be there. I still struggled with financial baggage and relationship woes that always loomed in the air and threatened to throw me off track, but these great influencers, who were, for all practical purposes just doing their job like good Midwesterners do, inspired me to look beyond my dire circumstances and stay the course.

Have you ever been through a time in your life where you’ve felt like you weren’t sure if what you were doing or where you were was where you were supposed to be? On the contrary, have you ever had the experience where you were sitting under the direction of another person and felt immediately at complete peace because you knew, no matter what, you were supposed to be there, in that place, at that very moment, hearing that crucial message your heart so longed to hear?

Those are the moments I look forward to in life, and those are the moments I experienced under the direction of Dr. Ehly. I am so grateful to him and the other advisers I mentioned who cared enough to spur me on when the going got tough and pushed me to fight for the life I didn’t even know I wanted to live.

This week was the ACDA (American Choral Directors’ Association) 2019 Jubilee Convention in Kansas City, Missouri. Dr. Ehly was one of the clinicians, and many of us alums who were under his direction so many years ago have been chatting for months about how we could manage to get back to Kansas City to be there, in his presence, again. Unfortunately, with our family commitments and the kids’ schedules, I was not able to make it back for this, and my heart has been heavy over not being able to see him and talk to him again like I had hoped. My girlfriend, Kimberly, even tried to coax me into riding from Tulsa to KC with her and back in 24 hours so we could just be there for his long-awaited reception. We laughed as we talked about it and she said, “Isn’t it funny the lengths we’ll go to to be inspired?” She, like me, is a Mommy to 3 kids and is feeling a bit uninspired and uncertain in her current journey as a singer and music teacher. While the temptation was so great to join her — almost overwhelmingly — I determined that going would be too difficult to manage. A 12-hour drive twice in two days isn’t something you recover from quickly. But, oh, what I wouldn’t give to be there!! I feel like it’s one of those moments where my heart is there, and I long so desperately to be in that place, like a sponge, soaking up and savoring every last word.

But duty calls…

Alas, since I cannot be there, I dedicate this post to him and so many mentors of my past and present who not only teach music, but continually inspire people to be better humans through music.

If there’s something in your life that seems out of reach; or if you feel like you want to pursue something, but it just seems too frivolous or uncertain — remember this:

God put you here for a reason. Your background does not determine your future. Your past experiences don’t dictate who you are and what you are capable of becoming.

I firmly believe that, if we pray for God to provide mentors to help us get where we want to go, He will provide them just like He provided Dr. Ehly, Dr. Robinson…and let’s not forget my dear friend, Richard. God provided me with mentors in abundance, and I am so grateful for their steadfast commitment to helping people like me reach greater heights far beyond anything we thought we were capable of doing.

why this blog?

by Amy | Feb 28, 2019 | mama confessions

Tonight, on my way to church choir rehearsal, I listened to a podcast episode that talked about blogging as a profession, and it really drew me in. I’m an avid reader and an entrepreneur at heart, so I’ve listened to many podcasts and read a great deal about blogging before this episode, but for some reason, tonight’s talk dotted all the “i”s and crossed all the “t”s for me to really begin to take this little hobby seriously. The blogger being interviewed was a child psychologist by profession, but she found her true passion through blogging about crafting. She explained how becoming a child psychologist was just a path she thought she should follow, but she was never really that jazzed about it. It never really lit her up or fulfilled her. When she started blogging, she discovered that she really felt alive, and eventually, despite all of her formal, rigorous education, she gave everything up she had known to become a professional blogger.

I can so relate to this woman in a lot of ways. I guess the main difference between her story and my own is that I followed the path of music teacher/singer as opposed to some conventional, sure-to-make-an-actual-paycheck profession, and for a time, that path did light me up, despite how unpromising it was in terms of actually being able to pay rent with the money I earned from it. (ha!)

Truth be told, I’ve always loved the music. I loved the art form of singing and relaying someone else’s message through song and making it my own. I loved the profession of musician, or, at least I thought I did. Or maybe I just liked the illusion of it. Have you ever heard someone say, “So and so was in love with the idea of marriage more than the person he or she actually married”? Don’t get me wrong — I’ve always loved music and learning how to make it. And I’d like to think I’m pretty good at singing by this point in my life. I’ve also enjoyed honing my craft and working with amazing teachers and coaches. From the time I was a little girl I was always singing. I was even brave enough to sing in front of our huge church congregation a number of times and try out for every possible school musical or solo. I took voice lessons as early as middle school and on into high school. I was in all the high school choirs and even competed nationally and won an award with our high school ensemble! There was a time I even composed music and dreamed of being a worship leader or having my own record. And then, of course, I studied music in college and got, not one, but two degrees in music!!

But, as time has gone by over the years, as I’ve gotten older and I’ve had children, the pomp and circumstance of it all has worn off. That’s the big kicker, isn’t it? HAVING CHILDREN is the deciding factor above all deciding factors regarding whether or not something is worth your time…or not. Since I’ve had my kids, I’ve just realized that, while I love singing and love teaching, the hoopla and grandiose feelings they once brought me have been reduced to just sort of meh at best and downright resentment at worst…mainly because of the commitment level and times of day that these activities tend to happen: Evenings and weekends — a.k.a. times when my kids are home — a.k.a. times I want to be with them and they want to be with me (at least for now).

But take blogging, for instance, and I can tell you that literally every time I hear about it or read something about becoming a blogger as a profession, it lights me up and brings tears to my eyes in as much the same way as music always has (and by the way, these are good tears!). I haven’t really thought about why this is, but now that I really contemplate it, I think it has something to do with the similarities blogging actually shares with music. When you’re singing or even teaching, you’re giving a part of yourself away. You’re sharing your most vulnerable self with your audience, and you take a huge risk in what they will think of you after you share it. But the point is not what they think of you as much as it is the fact that you shared it. Does that make sense? I can honestly say, after singing for many years as well as teaching singers, the authentic sharing of yourself is something so few people in this world actually get to experience, but it honestly makes you feel so alive. It’s like you’re saying to the universe, “I’m putting myself out there, like it or leave it, but this is me. This is who I am and I’m not apologizing for it anymore.” I did not mean to start an earworm from The Greatest Showman here, but if you feel like singing that song to yourself, by all means…you may pause now from reading this and sing your heart out.

There. Are you back? Feelin’ good? Awesome.

As I was saying…I feel that blogging is, in many ways, like what I’ve always done as a singer. But with blogging, I can choose when I write and you can choose when you will read what I have to say instead of me having to stand in a cold theater until 10 or 11pm rehearsing night after night while my kids are being read their bedtime stories and tucked in without me there.

One thing I know for certain is it makes me really emotional when I think about lives I can impact and people I can reach with this vehicle called a blog. And when I get highly emotional I usually know it’s because this…right here…is what I’m made to do.

So, without going into my whole bio, which you can read in the “Bio” section of this blog, I wanted to just bullet list all the things I’m interested in discussing here and speaking to groups of women about, the reason I really need to get my words out there for others to read/hear, learn from and hopefully relate to, and the main focus or shape I hope it will eventually take on.

Here goes:

Embracing Imperfection. For starters, I’m not at all even close to near perfect and neither is this blog. Although I’ll do my best, you might have a hard time finding Pinterest-worthy photos here. I guarantee you I’ll mess up on some things and raise my hand to show you how much I’ve messed up, because, I’m still learning and have a long way to go. The point is, we all do! And my mistakes and learning process can hopefully show you that you, too, can learn how to do things you don’t currently know how to do.
Intercultural Marriage. I’m married to an Austrian. Which means my kids are half-Austrian. And we live in Texas. Far far away from any of our family and friends we grew up with. Sometimes, we feel really isolated and lonely. Our household can get kinda funny and quirky with our intercultural marriage and family dynamics. Things get misunderstood often. I also correct my husband’s grammar often, which, thankfully, he’s learned to accept and be a good sport about. But it has its challenges.
Being an Artist. I never used to consider myself an artist, but I most definitely am. And we have temperaments and feel many times like we’re going crazy. I want to explore resources on how to channel that artistic nature and teach my kids to do the same. I also want to explore topics about living a balanced life as an artist, a creative being, who is also a very busy Mommy.
Motherhood and All Its Glory. I love being a Mommy to 3 sweet and very charming and challenging kids. They keep me on my toes. I love them with my whole heart, and I mess up a lot with them too. I struggle with my temper, and patience, boredom, and having genuine interest in what they’re telling me for the 10th time, and yet, when I look at them, I’m astounded by how quickly they are growing and how wonderful God has made them. I also want to explore topics about screen time for kids, self-care/me-time, preoccupation with our own devices and unhealthy relationships with food, alcohol and spending money we don’t have as coping mechanisms.
Being Content. Man, this is a hot topic, but it’s one I feel like needs to be talked about more in our day and age. We are not content. We are constantly looking outside of ourselves and comparing our lives with those around us. We are constantly wishing things were different and guilty of thinking the grass is greener on the other side of the fence.
My Decluttering and Organizing Journey. It never seems to end, but I think I’m finally getting the hang of it after two solid years of doing it nonstop. I’ll talk here about how letting go of things and organizing our home has made a huge impact on how I see the world around me and how I show up for my family.
God. Last but certainly not least, I want to share my faith with you here and there. But this is not all the blog will be about. Not because it’s not THE most important thing to me ever, but because I want to hold it sacred and also respect my readers and their differing opinions. First of all, I don’t know all the answers. I just know a few. And I want to steer away from political or controversial issues on this blog, so it’s not something I’m going to go into depth with. But I do believe in Him and I take my faith and His power (not my own) very seriously.

And this is just the beginning of some things I want to really spend time diving into and discussing in our community here.

I also want to cover some fun areas of personal interest that I happen to enjoy and maybe even know quite a bit about:

Singing. It’s what I’ve done my whole life, and it brings me so much joy. I’ll share basic insights on singing, how much it’s brought to my life and how important it is that I still do it — even though trying to fit it in has become more and more challenging over the years.
Cooking. It doesn’t have to be fancy, but I love making a meal my kids and my husband and I can equally enjoy! I also love making and eating meals that have a lot of flavor, but not a lot of calories. Even though our family doesn’t adhere to any strict guidelines regarding food, I want to explore healthier options that everyone loves as well as our family’s journey on a path of no longer eating fast food. Yikes! Did I just write that outloud?
Bargain shopping. It’s one of the best kept secrets that I’ll share with you! I’m not only a great bargain shopper, but I, along with my husband’s help, am learning ways that our family can find amazing deals on things we need (and want) and actually even resell some of our items to earn a profit. Guys, it’s not hard! I’ll show you how you can earn extra money and save buying just about anything way below MSRP.
Refinishing and Reupholstering Furniture. It’s not as hard as you might think! I got into refinishing furniture by attempting to refinish the table and chairs I inherited from my grandparents. While that specific project has been given the not-so-endearing name of “the neverending project from hell” (sorry, Lord), I have actually enjoyed picking up other pieces whenever and wherever I can find them and refinishing those to resell or brighten up a room in my own home. Another potential income source! I have also tried my hand at reupholstering seat cushions, and one day, I hope to learn more about reupholstering even more elaborate pieces. My Uncle Chris and my brother-in-law, Larry, are upholsterers, and I’ve always wished I lived nearer to them, so they could show me the ropes. For now, I’m relying on books, YouTube and my own trial and error to teach myself how to reupholster. It’s fun and the best part is, if you don’t like it, you can always try again!
International Travel. I explore places that may not seem as accessible and fun as they actually are. I’ll talk about what you and your family can do there and how to plan for it. I also talk about the differences in cultures and how to prepare for those differences before you even begin to pack your bags. Bon Voyage!!
Hand Lettering and Illustration. I have just started learning about this in the past year, but I absolutely love it and want to teach you how to do it too! I’ll share my own techniques and challenges I continue to work on, tools I use to make it easier and what resources I use to get better and learn even more!
Helping Small Businesses. Guys, this is no joke. I literally LOVE looking at small business practices and helping small businesses grow and be all they can be. I’m not a guru or an expert in this. It’s just something I thoroughly enjoy. I think I have something to offer and it’s something I plan to do more of as time goes on. Wow. There. I said it.
How an MLM has changed my life. Seriously. I know this causes some people to run for the hills. So, honestly, and I mean that, I’m not going to talk about it all that much other than to say that I WORK WITH THE BEST COMPANY OUT THERE!! No, but seriously. I love working with R+F, and I am so grateful for what it’s done for me and my family — let alone, my skin!! But even more than the company, I love my team that constantly encourages and uplifts one another, and even more than all of that, I love the confidence and all I’ve learned from doing this business. It’s truly been a blessing that fell into my lap!
Fitness. How much I hate it, but how much developing the discipline to workout has changed my life and made my body strong, but also my mind.

So, there’s a mouthful right there! In a nutshell, this is who I am. I am someone who never gets bored (how could I?) — at least with things I could be learning or doing. I’m always striving to be better and learn more about whatever it is I’m doing. I never want to tire of learning. To me, opening up a book or taking a class is one of the most fulfilling activities I personally could ever engage in. I’d take a class before I’d go to the movies. I’d read a book about how to do something before I’d read a novel.

Anyway, that’s about it.

Looking forward to sharing with you!

xoxo,

Amy

Upcoming Posts

by Amy | Feb 26, 2019 | mama confessions

I have some posts in my head. But I can’t write them now. I need more time. I need more focus. Right now feels foggy and blurry and heavy. Right now, I’m at the edge of a cliff overlooking some decisions that will change our family’s lives — hopefully for the better. But they’re hard decisions that I need time and mental space to focus on.

Friends, if you’ve known me for a while, you know I love to write, and this blog has been my on again off again baby for several years. As I’m driving, as I’m cleaning, as I’m falling asleep and as I’m waking up, I am thinking about conversations I want to have with this blog and issues I want to settle for myself and for others once and for all. I’ve got…high hopes!

The post I wanted to write today was about my little sabotagers. Sometimes, those little sabotagers are my sweet little kids who decide for whatever reason not to go to school and take up my whole day with their requests for more yogurt or that candy stash in the back of the pantry.

Other sabotagers are things like notifications on my phone that pop up when I’m trying to work and voluntary impulses to check and see what’s happening on Facebook or Instagram for “just a minute”.

The other post that’s been reeling over and over again in my brain has to do with “me time” and what that looks like. How we, as moms, do need to practice self care and take time for ourselves, but how that can become an idol in and of itself. This is a post I did a talk on with a MOPS group in Round Rock, and tears were flowing, Baby!!

The other thing I wanted to address (man, I’ve got a lot of ideas) in an upcoming post is how much we moms are hearing the message that we can “do it all” and “have it all”…but I feel we really sacrifice some important things in our lives if we don’t recognize what we’re actually giving up to achieve this.

And lastly, for now anyways, is the post I want to write about being your authentic self and not falling for the ideas, attitudes, fashion sense, interests and home decor ideals we see in others within either our current social setting or what we think things should look like based on what we see on Pinterest.

Lots of ideas and input here, my friends. And I can’t wait for you to tune in and share your thoughts with me.

xoxo,

Amy

a not so new chapter

by Amy | Feb 24, 2019 | mama confessions

This morning I woke up a lot like most mornings here lately. I have been feeling really uncertain about how I should be living, working, creating, parenting, wife-ing and how I should proceed in just about everything I’ve been doing up til now.

Truth be told, I’m super frustrated with being in limbo. I know there are possibilities, but I’ve felt stuck and uncertain for far too long.

This past weekend, I was supposed to have performed with Conspirare and the Austin Symphony in the Brahms Requiem at the Long Center here in Austin, TX. However, the week prior to a long week of rehearsals and two back-to-back performances, I came down with a viral infection that zapped my energy, then my voice and later, my lungs.

I was really bummed out and emotional about not being able to perform, but the whole incident caused me to take a step back and evaluate what I was really doing with all of this and where it was taking me. I’ll explain:

Up til 2016, when my husband and I went through our “crisis of a lifetime,” working and trying to continue singing wasn’t high on my list of priorities. Yes, I missed singing, and I would be lying if I said I wasn’t shot through the heart every time a former colleague would post their singing experiences in front of me on social media. I know. I shouldn’t compare myself to others. But it was hard. However, I felt I had adjusted nicely to the role of stay-at-home-and-pour-everything-you’ve-got-into-your-kids Mom. I really embraced it actually. And I didn’t want to jeopardize that role with any endeavor that took away from them — even if it meant sacrificing a huge piece of me — singing!

Fast forward to now. I now have 3 youngish kids. I say youngish, because they aren’t babies anymore. They are 10, 7 and 5 and able to put on their own clothes, wipe their own butts and sass at us if they don’t like what we’ve asked them to do. In many ways, it feels like we’ve achieved a certain level of freedom after 10 years of being in the baby phase of being up all night, changing diapers and toddlers walking around trying to kill themselves and destroy everything around them. But we aren’t out of the woods just yet. As much as I would love to sing and be a part of amazing, creative ventures out there in the world, my role as a mother to these kids is far more important (and in many ways, urgent) than the role I play as a singer.

There are so many ideas on this, and I don’t wish to be controversial. I know we women have as much of a right to pursue our dreams and goals as men do. But I think we, as mothers of young and even youngish children, have a special, and very important mission: To train our children in the way they should go. And I also feel that this time we are required to do that goes by so quickly. Why miss out because we have a right?!

So, here’s my current goal: to honor God in raising my children in the way they should go. Even if that means putting aside my dreams and goals or pursuing those dreams and goals on the fringe of our lives and not during prime time hours of our days or weekends when they are home, still under my roof and really want to be with me. Call me soft. Call me a wimp. Tell me anything you want to tell me about how I should do what I have been gifted to do. But I know what I know. And that is that God has gifted me with these 3 beautiful children I love with all my heart. And if I trust God with His will for my life, I know He will make it all work together for good if I do my job as a Mom to the best of my ability.

For me, that means not spreading myself too thin. It means saying “no” sometimes to things I’d love to be a part of. It means sacrificing my dreams for His higher purpose. And don’t be fooled into thinking working Moms who do it all aren’t sacrificing something. It all comes down to what you’re willing to sacrifice, right? If I’m out there pursuing my dreams as a singer, I may be doing what I want to do and filling my cup in some way, but I’m also sacrificing being there for my kids who still need me to be there for them. I sacrifice time away from my husband. I sacrifice a peaceful home. I sacrifice rest.

So, anytime you’re tempted to believe that the women out there who are “doing it all” actually “have it all” without sacrificing some pretty important things, stop for a minute and really think about it. Then break down what it looks like for you to pursue your dreams at this moment.

The best advice I got recently when I was lamenting over this was from an elderly friend who also had a singing career prior to having children. She said that she never regretted taking the time off from singing to raise her children. But she would have really regretted not being there for her children — even if it meant singing on the greatest stages in all the world.

I believe her.