Well, I’m coming out. Out of the fog, that is. At least temporarily. Despite a few less than ideal mishaps with my oldest son today (potty training, temper tantrums, strange clingy-ness), we had a wonderful day that I always want to remember and look back on. We started out the day slowly with me cleaning out my purse. I know…please go on, right? Well, God only knows how long it’s been since I’ve taken the time to clean out my purse and throw things away and heavens, it needed it. While I was on that wild roll, I decided to go ahead and sort through our kitchen “inbox” filled with mail, papers, receipts, ads, coupons and random crap. This left me feeling a bit more on top of things and I was even able to make a list and actually fill out the paperwork for Tate’s preschool and get it in an envelope to mail (although I haven’t mailed it yet). On top of those amazingly interesting accomplishments (ha!) I was able to fill out an RSVP for my girlfriend’s wedding and actually put it in an envelope and stick it in my purse to mail. It was due at the beginning of April, but hey…whatevs! She knows I’m coming because I’m singing in it!
Hold on while I sip some tea.
OK…I’m back. Damn that’s good tea!
Well, I apologize (although not really) for the long hiatus. I haven’t meant to take such a long break from writing, but I just haven’t been able to pull myself together and organize my thoughts enough to write them down. Truthfully, I’m behind on EVERYTHING in my life. I just got done putting laundry away that has been folded and sitting in a basket in our room for nearly two weeks. When I started putting it away tonight, I realized that most of it is laundry that I had washed from our trip to Austria and we’ve been back from there almost a month! Is that even possible? Time flies! But, that is just how behind I am on things.
Speaking of time flying by, my little guy, Julian, is about to turn 1 this coming Sunday!! I can’t believe he’s already a year old. It doesn’t seem possible! Where did this year go?!! Well, I’ll tell you that I honestly don’t know, because I haven’t been in a clear, rested state of mind since he got here. I love that little guy, but he has given me a run for my money in the sleep department. I think this is why I’ve felt like I was in such a fog for so long! He’s doing better now and sleeping for longer stretches than he was for a while, but nights can still be rough with him which makes my days of trying to function really rough. Other than that, he’s such a sweet little guy. He is talking a lot and trying to walk and stand every chance he gets. It’s so amazing to watch their development.
So, back to the day we had. After I got all organized, I fed the kids and we headed out to run errands. First we went to get my car inspected and then we went to Walmart to pick up some birthday party items for Julian’s party on Saturday. Even though I knew they were tired, the boys did a great job and stuck it out til the very end. When we left Walmart, Julian immediately fell asleep in the car and I took Tate to get some ice cream. I parked the car and he sat in the back and ate his while I ate mine in the front. It was just our little time of eating ice cream together and it was so fun! He was super excited about a bicycle with training wheels that he saw at Walmart and rode through the store. And he was telling me about all the things he will ask Santa for. He was very chatty. But as soon as we pulled out of the parking lot, he too quickly fell asleep.
When we got home, I brought them in and put everything away and laid down myself. I rarely do that, but today it just felt like the right thing to do. I so needed that nap! When we all woke up, Tate had had an accident in his pants so we changed his outfit. It didn’t frustrate me. I just changed him. About twenty minutes later, I looked up at him and he was making a strange face like something was happening, and when I got to him, he had had another accident. I quickly took him to the bathroom, and again…I wasn’t too frustrated. Puzzled, yes. Frustrated, no. I was rested. I started making dinner while the boys played underneath me on the kitchen floor. Normally, that would bug me because I tend to get a little nervous when I try to prepare dinner — especially by that time of day when I’m tired. But tonight I wasn’t tired. I felt relaxed and the boys were relaxed too. As we were eating a thunderstorm began and we were able to hear the thunder and see lightening and go outside and feel the wind and rain coming through our neighborhood.
Anyway…I know I’m rambling. I guess I don’t have a point other than to say that I am grateful I had a day where I was able to rest and enjoy my kids with a clear, rested state of mind rather than a frazzled, tired, running on fumes state of mind…and, it felt really good! I don’t want to jinx myself by hoping for more nights where sleep isn’t a problem and days where we can leisurely nap, but I really do hope I can get that. Our family really needs rest.
Today made me realize all that I am capable of doing when I feel good. I can clean out my purse, throw junk mail away and sort through our basket of paper while playing with my kids on the floor and enjoying their little laughs and watching them play. I can get the car inspected and go to Walmart with a LIST! I can make a pizza from scratch with yummy ingredients. I can walk outside with my kids and enjoy the rain. I can put my kids to bed and still have enough juice leftover to put clothes away and pick up around the house…and perhaps even BLOG! I like this. I could get used to this. I hope that we’ve turned a new corner and that peaceful nights of sleep and restful days are in our future! Crazier things can happen. One can at least dream!
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