If you read last week’s blog post entitled, Getting Back to Singing, you’ll know that I am starting a 4-part series that guides readers through a very important initial step in getting back to singing again after a singing hiatus.
Today is Part #1 of this series and it’s all about MY WHY, because I think it’s so important to be a detective and really get down to the heart of why you want to sing in order for you to put your first foot forward, start singing again and get some serious traction!
So what’s your why? Why do YOU want to sing?
I’ll tell you a little bit about my why in hopes that it helps you think more about yours:
I’ve always loved to sing since I was a wee bitty little thing. I remember holing up in my room listening to and memorizing all the lyrics to my favorite songs and gathering up my sisters, friends and cousins every time I got the chance so we could “perform a concert.” I remember that music and singing were always such a huge part of my life, and listening to singers sing solos at church was so awe-inspiring for me. I remember a family friend singing, “We Shall Behold Him” by Sandi Patty at my Aunt Georga’s funeral and realizing that I needed to learn to sing that song too. I also remember getting a hold of that Sandi Patty cassette tape (I know that dates me!) and listening to it over and over again while trying to sing the high notes like she did. I didn’t do it very well, but I was passionate and I was determined!
As I grew, I remember wanting to join the choir in middle school. And then again in high school. And then majoring in music education with an emphasis in vocal performance in college. I remember having a good deal of success singing and getting positive feedback for how I was progressing. But then something happened…
Somewhere down the road, singing became hard. It became painful. I received harsh criticism. I got rejected. I had teachers whose motives weren’t the purest. I had competitive singer friends who were out for their own gain and weren’t encouraging about my attempts at success. I started questioning everything I was doing. I developed paralyzing stage fright and an unrelenting anxiety around singing.
While I continued singing off and on through the years, I could never really shake the internal, paralyzing fear I couldn’t shake and the feelings that singing brought up for me. The wounds were deep. It became easier for me to do something else that I wasn’t so attached to…something I wouldn’t receive so much criticism for. Something that wouldn’t bring up so much pain.
In the meantime, I had 3 beautiful children. It was really easy for me to just dive deeply into the role of motherhood and forgo all of my past endeavors and passions in order to give all I had to my babies. So that’s just what I did. And for a while, it worked. I have loved being a Mommy more than anything else I’ve ever done in my life! But something was missing. Something began to gnaw at me. I missed singing.
Gradually, I started sitting down at my piano again. I started getting out art songs and hymns and then eventually, I started dusting off my arias. I remembered a time where I was fortunate enough to have a voice lesson with the great, Canadian tenor, Ben Heppner, while living in Vienna, and I’ll never forget that lesson and what he said to me:
If you’ve lost your joy of singing, you’ve gotta go back to your roots. What made you love singing at the beginning? What were those songs that inspired you and made you want to sing? Sing those songs. You’ve gotta find your joy again.
I share this story with you to get your wheels turning about YOUR story. What is YOUR WHY? What were the songs or the singers that initially inspired you to sing? What was or is the part about singing that you love?
Forget the critics. Forget the big ideas or dreams you wish you were achieving but aren’t. Forget the envy you may have of others who are doing what you always wanted to do. You don’t know their story or their struggle. Forget the let downs and the pain you may have felt when someone rejected you or you didn’t get the recognition you thought you should have had for your vocal potential.
Now is your chance to find out that thing about singing that brings you joy. And get this…this is YOUR life! You get to decide how to spend your days and what you want to do. No one else can limit you and keep you from your dreams! If the worship team is full and doesn’t have room for another vocalist, find another worship team. If the choir you want to sing with says they aren’t holding auditions, find another choir. If you didn’t get that solo part you were hoping to land, there are plenty of nursing homes full of people who would LOVE to hear you! If no one calls you back when you send them your demo, keep on making and sending out your demos. Someone will eventually bite. And if they don’t, you still have that JOY that singing brings you. Sing for yourself!!!
Can you tell I’m passionate about this whole WHY thing? Because I’ve lived it. I’m still living it now. I’m not doing all the things I’d love to be doing vocally because being a Mommy of 3 little ones simply doesn’t leave room for all of it. I’m not singing at all the venues I’d love to be singing in or doing all the auditions I could be doing. But that doesn’t mean I can’t sing for myself. It doesn’t mean I can’t sing for my children or with them. It doesn’t mean I can’t engage in an activity that truly, deeply, brings me joy!
So find your why today, my friend!
I’ve included a free printable download you can get right here. This My Why Guide will ask you questions that trigger your answers and help you find your why for singing!
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Happy Singing!!!
xoxo
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