Oh…is all I can say. I have been searching for a moment…ONE moment where I can have a little peace and quiet and actually write or do something without interruption. But the moment never comes. I guess I have to learn to sneak away in small moments like these — when my husband is giving our two boys a bath–and just relish in the 3 or 4 minutes of peace I get here and there. Outside of that, there’s no chance I will ever write anything here again.
Wow! This week has been a whirlwind! My son started preschool this past Tuesday. Truthfully, it’s just a Mothers’ Day Out program, but it feels like a huge thing to have him gone for 4 hours 2 days a week. I know I’ll get used to it and actually learn to enjoy it soon. For now, it just feels weird. But, I know it’s a good thing!
Anyway…I don’t have much time as I hear my youngest screaming in the bathtub on the other side of the house, and I think my husband is already at his wit’s end — even though he’s only been alone with our kids for a mere 30 minutes so far today. Ughh…sorry, that was not meant to be a jab. I’m just so OVER IT!
So let’s be real, shall we? I’m once again finding that I’m a bit…or let’s say a LOT overwhelmed. I’m not overwhelmed in the same way that I found myself this time last year. No, that was a naive overwhelmed. That was a flailing my arms through the air swimming upstream with my head barely above water kind of overwhelmed because I didn’t know the path ahead of me yet. I wasn’t aware of what was to come. I had a 2 1/2 year old and a 4 month old this time last year. I had NO idea!! And I didn’t have the rhythm of this whole thing down.
Now fast forward a year. I’m well aware of what’s ahead. I have an almost 4 year old and an almost 16 month old. They are both active and amazing little boys that require a lot of my time and energy. They are amazing and a lot of fun. That’s for sure. I am still tired, but not as tired as I was then. And now, at least, I feel like I have the rhythm down. I know what to expect. Things are fairly predictable. So why am I overwhelmed? Because it’s hard. It’s hard to juggle Motherhood and all it entails, work and all it entails, the household and all it entails and relationships of any kind and all they entail. I find this balance to be very tricky. You excel in one area and then fail miserably in another. When you start to pick up the slack in another area, the others start to fall apart. Very tricky.
I say all this not to complain, but merely to make sense of it all. That’s what writing helps me to do. I also realize over and over again what drains me and what gives me energy. If I could only pay attention to the things that give me energy! That could help, right? It’s not that easy though.
Anyway…enough about what gives me energy. I need to get some work done and then hopefully attempt to get to bed at a decent time tonight. That would give me some energy for sure.
Happy Weekend Everyone!
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