Before I began working full time outside of the home, I always thought my lack of success in business or even things at home was a direct reflection on me. I would beat myself up about the fact that I could never figure out how to find time to do anything. And I’m not even talking about BIG THINGS. I’m referring to small things like: getting laundry folded and put away, cleaning out clutter, organizing my pantry, cleaning up my backyard, putting up picture frames, or (gasp!!) filling out even ONE word, let alone a memory, in my children’s baby books. Now, I’ll be real with you. I didn’t lose sleep over any of that. Truthfully, I’m not that ambitious of a person by nature, and I knew if I let myself get obsessed about ALL THE THINGS I simply couldn’t find time or energy to do, I’d lose my mind. So I didn’t obsess. I didn’t let myself go into deep depression over it. But I did feel frustrated. I did feel like I didn’t measure up in a lot of ways. Sure, my kids were happy…I was somewhat happy on the surface, but a big part of me felt disheveled and completely chaotic.
Then I began working. Full time. Outside the home. From 5am to 1:30pm. Every day.
I tell you that because it was a complete shift in my perspective of what I could accomplish and what I could not do. And the list of things I could not do were FAR greater than the things I could do. I could: get groceries from the grocery store. I could put those groceries away. I could cook a simple dinner. I could clean up the bathrooms. I could throw laundry IN the washer…and later IN the dryer. I could KISS my kids goodnight and hug them as much as I could when I saw them. I could briefly chat or text my husband about his day. I could write a check to my daughter’s preschool and sometimes even put that check in her school folder so it got to the school’s director without a late fee.
I could not, however:
- Scrub my kitchen floors
- Cook yummy dinners
- Blog about my day
- Keep track of our family budget
- Call friends or family members and chat
- Spend quality time watching a great show in front of the t.v. with my husband and a glass of wine
- Shave my legs
- Wash my hair frequently
- Go out with girlfriends
- Spend lots of quality time taking my kids places
- Deep clean my bathroom
- Make sure my house was “presentable”
- Organize my photos
- Backup my harddrive
- Backup my phone storage
- Take long baths
- Clean up junk mail
- Sift through all the paperwork
- File away important documents
- Get laundry from dryer and fold it
And oh…the list goes on, but I will spare you ALL THE THINGS I COULDN’T DO WHEN I WAS WORKING FULL TIME.
So, this shift…this mental shift I had when I was working, helped me to realize that all this time I once THOUGHT I had was a myth. It simply wasn’t true. Now, yes, I was home more when I was a stay-at-home Mama, but the time I had to actually DO things was zip, zilch, nada, nil.
I said all that to say, that once I decided to quit my job and start working for myself FULL TIME, I quickly learned, once again, that even though my kids were not with me for a good portion of the day like they had once been, I still was racing the clock and spinning my proverbial wheels and finding that I wasn’t getting anything actually DONE in my day.
I think the concept of TIME is a real, booty kicking interesting concept, don’t you? I think we always THINK we have more time than we do, and we’re always SURPRISED when we discover that we’ve RUN OUT of time. I firmly believe that this is why the Apostle Paul warns us in Ephesians 5:15-16 to “Pay careful attention, then, to how you walk—not as unwise people but as wise—making the most of the time, because the days are evil.” (HCSV) In the King James Version it says, “Redeeming the time…” and I like that word “redeem” because it really hits the nail on the head. If we don’t pay CAREFUL attention to our time, it will POOF!! be gone!! In an instant. In a heartbeat. Not only is LIFE itself super short, but our days are SO MUCH SHORTER. So it’s unbelievably vital for us to KNOW EXACTLY what we need to be doing with every moment of our every day. We don’t have time to waste.
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