Hot Mess
OK, I’m a hot mess today! Why does this always happen after my family leaves from visiting? We were just getting over being sick last week when they hinted to the idea that they might be coming in town. The next thing I knew, I was receiving a text message at 8:00am on Sunday morning saying they were roughly 40 miles away from our house!!! Who does that? Not only that, but they just then decided to mention that they were bringing my 11 year old niece. Really?? I mean, I was glad she was coming on one hand, but I was also a little peeved that no one bothered to mention it to me beforehand.
So, they came. They got in around 8:45am on Sunday morning. We had plans to go to church, so we went and came back and met them for lunch at one of their favorite Mexican places right by our house. We ate, we had fun and we came home. Later on, Thomas cooked dinner for us all — a very flavorful gulf shrimp and pasta.
Then, the real shit hit the fan. Thomas started getting sick (again) that night and wasn’t feeling well at all the next morning, but he went to work anyway. We all rounded up after breakfast and went to IKEA. My Mom can roam a store like that for HOURS. My back wasn’t doing well, so it was really hard on me and the kids were pretty tired too, but we had fun and we made it through the store without any major meltdowns. When we got back home, I made some Asian sesame noodles and we all had a nice dinner.
The next morning, I awoke to learn my Mom had been up sick all night. As we ate breakfast, my niece also got sick and they both ended up lying down for the most part of the day. I felt so bad for them. We weren’t able to do much of anything but hang out at the house all day. My Dad didn’t want to risk getting sick, so he took off before lunch and was gone all day. When I got the kids down for their nap at around 3pm, I began making pizza dough for pizzas later. That’s when the drama began.
My sister (my niece’s mother) was writing me text messages and asking about her daughter and how everyone was doing. I didn’t have time to text at that moment, so I wrote her and said I’d call her back later. She was clearly upset by that and began texting me angry messages.
I don’t want to get into all of that, because it’s not worth rehashing…however, it brings up some emotions in me that I want to deal with.
I seriously get almost physically ill everytime my parents come and leave. One reason is because they never tell me exactly when they are coming. They might say something general like, “This weekend…” but I never know when they are arriving until they are in Dallas. This time, it was even later than that. This doesn’t give a person time to shower…let alone buy groceries and get the house ready.
On top of never knowing when they are coming, they like to keep us out of the loop as to when they are leaving. For some reason, it seems like they just get here and are able to rest up from their long trip and they have to turn around and leave again. I don’t really know why that is, honestly. Today, we got up and had breakfast. I was planning on cleaning up a bit and taking the boys and dog for a walk. My Dad acted like he wanted to join us. As I’m cleaning up after breakfast and putting away dishes, my Mom came in and said, “I think we’re leaving around noon.” What?! Really?! I felt a huge surge of emotions take over me. I said, “oh…uh…ok…I was thinking we could go to lunch somewhere and Thomas was planning on taking off and meeting us for lunch or dinner.” I had unconsciously planned our day with them here, and I had to stop in my tracks and change plans. This isn’t easy for me to do — especially when it comes to family.
Truth be told, I’m a planner. I’m not the most organized or well-planned person out there, but I like to know what I’m doing from one day to the next. If I’m really on top of things, I like to know what we’re doing for the entire week, and sometimes I know what we’re doing over the next two weeks or month. I don’t like things sprung on me. I didn’t before kids, and I don’t now. Sure, I can be flexible and go with the flow, but I like to know what we’re doing. I like to have a plan.
So, we took a walk. My Dad went with us. They packed up their car. We met them at HEB so they could get some stuff to take back with them. We went from there to The Corner Bakery and ate lunch. Thomas met us. They got in their car and left for K.C. That’s it.
And you know what? I’m sad. I’m really sad. It takes me a while to adjust to them being here and how they are. But after a day or two, I’m used to it and it works. This time, we didn’t even have that much time. It was so short. And so filled with sickness. And who knows when we will be up there again to see them. I don’t know. I’d like to say we could make it back in a couple months. But, truthfully, I don’t know. I don’t know how we’d get there. Where we’d stay. How we’d cope.
Anyway…slap slap…snap out of it! That’s what I plan to do. I plan to hug my babies a little tighter today and enjoy them. And then, I plan to hug and kiss my man a little tighter when he gets home and just enjoy his presence in my life. These past few days took a lot out of us. And the past couple weeks before that took even more. We’ve been exhausted. We’ve been stressed. And now I just want to relax and enjoy each other…and bask in the love and joy we have as a little family.
The hardest part for me about growing up and growing older is knowing that you grow more and more separated from your own parents as you grow closer to your own children. I wish it didn’t have to be like that. I really love my parents. I miss seeing them more and talking to them. I really do. But, there’s a big disconnect. There are things they do that I simply don’t understand. I feel like everything I do or just my sheer existence and way of doing things makes them uncomfortable.
Anyway…long way of saying, I’m sad. I am fortunate enough to have girlfriends who call me up and pray with me over the phone. I needed it. I love that I have friends who understand my tears as much as they do my laughter.
Thank you, God!
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