by Amy | Feb 17, 2012 | mama confessions, Uncategorized
Despite the fact that Mommy has been stricken with some sort of viral infection, bronchitis, laryngitis sort of thing that has made her worn out, we trudged onward and forward to the library for story time promptly at 10:30am this morning. We had a great time. Tate and Julian were both in great moods. The librarian, Miss Andrea, read about house pets and Tate shared with everyone that he had a pet dog named Casi and that she was white. We meandered around the library for a while after storytime to check out books, let Tate play on the computers and then Mommy promptly went upstairs to the adult non-fiction section to check out some books about raising toddlers. Gotta be well-equipped.
After the library, we continued on to a little cafe up the street called Star Cafe. I knew the boys were tired and hungry and making it all the way home would be a challenge, so I made it easy on myself. We had fun. Tate and I shared a chicken sandwich and I had thought ahead enough to bring Julian some baby food. THANK GOD! We chowed down on the sandwich and then shared a bag of Doritoes (which he and I both love!) and went home. I thought he would fall asleep in the car, but only Julian did. Oh well, he was pretty good most of the day.
At 2pm, Miss Linda came over to watch the boys for Mommy while she got some things done around the house. Tate was a very good boy and pottied twice for Miss Linda and wore big boy underwear. I was so proud of him when I got home and heard the news. Both boys were so worn out after she left that they both fell asleep.
Even though I had had some much needed breaks built into my day today, I was still unable to come up with a solid dinner plan. I ended up using up some frozen chicken breasts and cooked those along with some roasted potato wedges. Tate loved the chicken, but I was pretty embarrassed by the lack of creativity on my part. Oh well, I guess that goes to prove that what I think is a good meal isn’t necessarily what he calls a good meal. Note to self!
Julian was a fussy little booger today. I think he’s just tired, but it made me think he might be getting another tooth or coming down with a bug. He’s normally pretty jovial, but today he was clingy and whiny. He’s also going through a phase where he wants to be right in the midst of the action. He literally gets mad and gets his feelings hurt when we remove him from the action or take away something he shouldn’t have. It’s a tough phase. I feel like I’m always taking something away from him. And if I’m not, Tate is.
Yesterday, we had a rough time because he was getting into all of Tate’s toys and Tate was feeling especially protective. He was patient with him here and there, but for the most part, he was pretty irritated. The irritation finally resulted in Tate kicking Juilan as hard as he could in the head. This resulted in screaming convulsions from Julian and me wanting to throttle Tate. I ended up taking away one of his favorite toys and shutting off his favorite show. He then screamed for 20 minutes until he finally passed out in my arms from exhaustion. BOY, what a day that was. Thank God today was easier and better.
There will be good days and bad days, I guess. Today was good…really good!
by Amy | Feb 17, 2012 | mama confessions
I would venture to guess that there aren’t a lot of better or worse experiences in life than being a parent to a toddler. They are amazing, wonderful creatures full of so much energy and life. They also SUCK the life out of their parents like no other creature known to man. There are so many incredible moments with them that make you stop and smile and thank God for this being who has come in your life. And yet, there are just as many moments of desperation where you wonder where the next inkling of patience will actually come from to tolerate their erratic and unreasonable behavior.
I am currently struggling more than I ever have as a parent. Not only does a new baby bring its own added dimension and twist to the way a family functions, but a once sweet, well-mannered baby-like kid has now taken on the role of an intolerable, selfish, independent, stubborn, yet, still amazing, and sweet child. Many times lately, I ask myself, “WHERE DID THIS KID COME FROM!?!?” as I recall several of my girlfriends’ fits of rage during this time with their children. Frankly, I always attributed their struggles at the time with lack of discipline or control. Now I see things clearly.
Now, let’s get this straight (for the record). I absolutely adore my children. I do. But, lately, I’m finding it difficult to be in the same room with my 3-year-old about 85% of the time. He does have his sweet moments and his humor and charm get him pretty far in my book. But, I have to admit, he and most other 3 year olds drive me to drink. Seriously. I think I actually used to refuse to babysit kids over the age of 1 and under the age of 6 for this very reason. To be perfectly honest, I never liked babysitting any kids at all. I hated it so much that I actually took up ironing people’s clothes instead of babysitting in order to earn extra income when I was a teenager. I’ve never really had an affinity for other people’s kids or kids in general. This is a terrible thing to admit as a parent, right? Well, fortunately I changed my mind when my niece was born and grew to love kids enough to want one of my own. So, the fact that I have any kids of my own is, in and of itself, a miracle!
Before giving birth to these wonderful beings, I never knew the joy that motherhood could bring. I used to stare and gaze into my newborn baby’s face as he slept and just sob from sheer elation and the overwhelming feeling of love I had for this little being. I remember thinking, “I can’t imagine ever being angry enough to yell at this child…I sure hope God gives me the strength to be able to discipline him when he needs it.” Boy, was I naive!! There are days that I feel like all I do is yell. I never wanted to be that kind of mother. I’ve always hated hearing parents yelling at their children. I am an educated woman who has gone through much worse than having a child refuse to got potty in my life. How could I possibly allow my intentions and daily agenda to be violently thwarted by a tiny, little, stubborn human? I always knew it would be hard work and there would be tough days, but some days are just ridiculously hard to the point where I think I’m being tortured by wild animals in an abandoned jungle in Africa. Sometimes I envision monkeys poking at my feet and pulling at my hair while jumping up and down and screaming with laughter (at me)…then lions are raging at me so loudly that I can’t even hear myself think long and clearly enough to form a complete thought. Meanwhile, those elephants keep marching (with mud on their feet) around my head causing me to walk out the door and forget my keys, while the vicious crocodiles constantly have their big mouths open for more food. Didn’t I JUST feed them?!
Deep down, I know that time is fleeting and these moments will not last forever. One day, there won’t be any toys to pick up or conversations about dinosaurs or monster trucks. By the grace of God, my 3-year old will continue to grow (even if only from eating an excessive amount of chicken nuggets and Kekse) and become a normal, intelligent human being who is kind and caring and thoughtful and doesn’t screech a high C in the middle of a restaurant when his chip falls on the floor…or refuse to go potty unless M&M’s are part of the equation. I mean, seriously…what if he is 18 and won’t go potty unless someone offers him an M&M??? Will I need to hunt him down at a frat party and change his diapers? Logic tells me this won’t happen. But right now, this challenging time makes me think we’ll be holding him down kicking and screaming to brush his teeth well into his twenties.
Just sayin…
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