Mother of the Year
I’m a terrible, wretched person. You know why? Because the only thing on my mind right now is how to get my kids to LEAVE ME THE ____ ALONE! Or truthfully, how to get everyone to leave me alone. Isn’t that horrid? It is the most beautiful, sunshiney day today, and by all logic and sensibility, I should be “cherishing” the moment and spending the day outside with my beautiful children at a park or going strolling through the neighborhood as we let the sun and fresh breeze hit our faces. But, I’m not. You know what we did? We spent all morning waiting in line at the post office applying for passports and then went and had breakfast while we waited. Fun, but not so interesting or athletic for my energetic 3-year old. And yet, all I could think of in the car on the way home was, “Gee…I really hope they both fall asleep! I need a break!” Well, my wish halfway came true. One of them fell asleep. But the other one didn’t. “No sweat!” I casually thought to myself. “It’s only noon, and I have 3 1/2 hours before I have to teach. He’ll fall asleep at some point.” We came inside the house and I made him a comfy place on the sofa. “Here Darling, why don’t you rest your little head and Mommy will turn on a tractor show for you to watch.” But it was too late. The moment of exhaustion had passed. He was now fully awake and ready to hit the ground running with a second wind behind him. Soon the other one awoke and not only did I have a tired 3 year old to deal with, but a tired 3 year old and a fully energized 9 month old.
Let’s get this straight. I don’t usually obsess about my children sleeping. I used to when I just had one to worry about and when the day would literally crumble around us when he didn’t have his nap. But now that I have two kids, I could care less if they sleep or don’t sleep most of the time. But today is different. Today my world feels like it will crumble around me if I don’t get a break.
So you know what I did? I quickly put both kids back in the car after changing diapers and making sure they both had their sippy cups in hand, and I drove aimlessly around the neighborhood for 30 minutes. Do you know what we saw when we drove around? People at the park. People outside enjoying the weather with their kids like “good” Mommies should. But what was I doing? I was cringing at every word my son said in the car as if he was torturing me by his voice and wishing with every stop sign that he would just hurry up and fall asleep already. Who does this?! Well, apparently me. Several times I thought to myself, “Maybe you’d all feel better if you just took them to the park…besides, does he reallly need a nap?…get over yourself, Amy…you’re a Mommy now…quit being so selfish.” But the louder voice inside of me said, “You know what? He’s tired. You’re tired. You need some down time before you teach this afternoon — even if that means you still have one child to deal with. Now KEEP driving until those little blues shut back there!!!!” And I did. I drove and I drove until he fell asleep. And then I drove home, right by the parks and all the mothers and fathers and grandparents on walks with their kids and grandkids. I also drove by a daycare.
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